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01.13.2004 - 6:53 p.m.


So, I recently learned this absolutely filthy slang term, "Dirty Sanchez". If you don't know what it means, don't ask, because seriously, you do NOT want to know. Anyway, I can't remember how exactly this came up in conversation, but when JB and I were making arrangements to board Dog last week, I suggested we pretend that her name was Dirty Sanchez.

JB: "What? The fuck."
Me: "No, it'll be hilarious. Seriously. We're all, you know, 'her name? - it's Dirty Sanchez."
JB (starting to snicker): "The vet will be all, 'Dirty what?'"
Me: "Hee! 'It's Dirty Sanchez, ma'am'."
JB (impersonating our friendly vet): "Well hi there Dirty Sanchez! Oh, she doesn't look dirty!"
Me: "Ha ha haaaa! 'Do you just call her Sanchez, or…?'"
JB: "Heh. 'Dirty Sanchez! Do I have a Dirty Sanchez in the house? I'm looking for a Dirty Sanchez!'"

This has led, unfortunately, to me being unable to resist occasionally calling Dog "Dirty Sanchez". I know. It's awful. I even made up a song for her.

Dirty Sanchez
Dirty Sanchez
There she is
The Dirty Sanchez!

Shut up, it's not like she knows what it means.

Anyway, it's obviously something I need to nip in the bud, because referring to your dog in such a manner is probably grounds for immediate ASPCA intervention.

In non-pervy-name-calling-Dog news, we took her to the dog park the other day. I heart the dog park. Seriously, if there is such a thing as an afterlife, I want it to be like one big huge sunny dog park, with grinny dopy dogs stampeding all over the place. Dogs leaping into the water, dogs cascading off your shinbones, ridiculously tiny dogs in sweaters, massive horse-sized dogs with ropy lines of drool, dogs dogs dogs!

Also, Dirty Sanchez Dog is the cutest thing on earth. See?


I know, I know, I'm ridiculous. I should really take up embroidery, or something.


So, can I just say that trying to combat the sleepy stupidheadedness of a cold with two cans of Red Bull tonight produced…interesting results. For instance, I just watched the tail end of Pirates, again, to see Jack Sparrow's sexy 'yo ho' action (purrrrrr), and afterwards I jumped up and CLAPPED AND SQUEALED. By myself. Right. Yo ho ho and a bottle of Red Bull.

Also, it made Dog get all excited. So I sang her a little song.

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17 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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