Oh my GOD have you ever worn a pair of pants that had a drawstring waist which meant that somehow the back gapped a bunch when you sat down which revealed the top of your thong in this disturbing Monica manner causing you to scooch around uncomfortably in your chair and constantly hike your shirt down in a pointless attempt to cover up and when you did stand up the string came untied and you managed to stop your pants from hitting the floor by like maybe one second? That's the day I'm having. The Pants From Hell day.
Also I'm all Crampy McCramperton. And I'm retaining enough water to put out that fire in Colorado. It's that sort of day, too.
You know what is both funny and annoying about my job? Almost every single person is an uber-tech geek. Therefore, if something happens to the network that requires you to, say, open up the terminal and type like 39482048 commands in order to make stuff work like it used to, nobody assumes anyone needs help with this. You'll just see a brief message to the staff: "Hey everyone, now you have to (insert unbelievably complex series of commands here) in order to access (insert dorky Hobbit-reference server name here)." And so I have to slither around the offices looking all pathetic (much like the office cats) asking people to help. Which makes me feel like a total idiot, and I used to think I was sort of technically savvy.
Sundry: "Um, can you give me a hand with the server dealie?"
Engineer: "Well, you just ssh into the - (all is lost in a drone of boring tech terms), so try that first."
Engineer: "Secure socket shell. It's a Unix term that means - (words lose meaning, voice becomes loud hairdryer noise), make sense?"
Sundry: vacant stare
Engineer (giving up): "Let's just go to your machine."
I am MARKETING, ok? Marketing traditionally knows fuck-all about how stuff actually works, we just come up with all the blather to sell it.
I'm amazed at how different JB's job is from mine. He attends big important meetings, manages tons of people, and sets out to achieve major business initiatives. Me, I sometimes fax some stuff...somewhere.
Our typical work day is just a tad dissimilar, too. For instance, here is a typical email from JB's office:
(From: Some manager guy. To: JB) "That room represents a significant braintrust
it would be a crime if we do not leverage the benefit of MI/MM synergy."
(From: Some engineer. To: Everyone) "I just found Shmop locked in the attic. I've released her, but we really need to make sure we don't lock cats in there --"
So I have a vacation coming up! The first week in July, JB and I are heading to southern Oregon to spend some time on the Rogue River. We'll raft the wild section for 3 days, then spend the rest of the week in a campground.
Since I'm such a big honking chicken I'm convinced I'll be thrown from the raft in one of the big rapids and crack my skull open on a rock. But other than that, I'm really looking forward to it.
Later in July I have to go to NYNY for MacWorld. It'll be like Geekapalooza. Redeeming things: the company bought tickets to Rent for the people going, and JB will fly out to meet me at the end of the week.
Trade shows are such hell - standing around with aching feet delivering the same stale pitch over and over. And there's always about a hundred things that go wrong with the booth, so you're scrambling around looking for random objects like pieces of Velcro or power strips or a fucking golden fleece or something.
Plus there's the handicap of the blinding hangover you're experiencing, of course. Tradeshows just wouldn't be tradeshows without the binge drinking.
go back :::
06.19.2002 - "I have never heard of anything like a pants-horn"
06.14.02 - Who
are these giraffelike creatures and why are pants being designed
only for them?
06.10.2002 - Boredom
does not exist, and if it does, it is cloaked in something cute
from Restoration Hardware, ok?
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004