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2002-02-02 - 1:37 p.m.

I have never microwaved anything for the cat. ("Ooh, Kitty, just a minute while Mommy warms up your Meow Mix") But every time I put something in there she gets all excited, yowling and winding herself around my legs so I damn near trip and kill myself in the kitchen. And when I'm eating, she sits and stares at me like a small, angry, fat black owl. J'accuse! She apparently doesn't know the natural hierarchy, as taught to us by cartoons, goes Dog/Cat/Mouse, not Dog/Cat/Healthy Choice French Bread Pizza.

So I'm all hungry and stuff again. A side effect of the evil cold that has plagued me lately is a total absence of hunger. It's been kinda fun, feeling like I'm Captain of the Body for once. "Eat this Cliff bar and shut up for 8 hours." "Yes SIR!" When normally I am helpless in the wake of its wanton desires. "You want…Chef Boyardee Ravioli? Christ, that stuff is terrible. Eat it out of the CAN? Well….all right."


Staying Positive: two things that are nice about JB being gone.

1. Brita water pitcher needs to be refilled on a reasonable basis rather than Every Goddamn Time I Open The Fridge.
2. Today…in the shower… TOTALLY skipped shaving my legs.


I watched Bridget Jones's Diary last night. Side note: we recently got a DVD player, which topped off our remote controls to a total of 5. So I nagged JB into getting one of those universal remotes. Which is cool. Except I am a total knob when it comes to using it, because you have to follow this bizarrely complicated button-pushing routine, sort of like that game Simon, to get the DVD player to work. So when I go to watch something, I have to have a Zen Moment ahead of time, because I know there's going to be like 10 minutes of me pushing buttons madly and getting all frustrated.

Anyway, Bridget Jones was nowhere near as funny or cute as the book. And I don't get Hugh Grant. The other day on Family Guy they ripped on Hugh, showing him as starring in a movie called "What's My Appeal?" which freakin cracked me up. I mean, the stammering, the flopsy hair, the TEETH.

Also he porked a hooker while shacked up with one of the most fantastic looking people on earth. That's just weird.

go back ::: forward

Did you want to read about:

2002-02-01 - shameful secrets and sunflower seeds
2002-01-31 - my grandfather
2002-01-30 - structure, or a lack thereof

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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