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12.10.2004 - 12:54 p.m.


The days seem to be just flying by, I can't believe we're heading into the second week of December already. My holiday shopping is all done, thank Amazon god, and almost everything is wrapped with my signature forty-tons-of-scotch-tape method (if it doesn't take someone fifteen minutes with a Swiss army knife to undo a package, it hasn't been wrapped properly, by golly), so that's one headache that's out of the way. But the cards, jesus. They are taking forever. If you get a card from me in, say, February? Just humor me and call it a valentine.

I made cookies the other day, not because I planned to give them as gifts or anything, but because every damn magazine has cookies on the front cover, gorgeous filigreed sparkling lovely cookies, and I felt it was my civic duty to break out the mixing bowl. The recipe I used called for Rolo candies - you make a chocolate dough, then mold dough around a piece of candy before baking it into a melted-caramel mess. The resulting cookie was okay, I guess, but really, the Rolos were pretty awesome on their own. You have to quality test your ingredients, after all.

Our Christmas tree has dog fur on it. I noticed this morning that the lower hanging branches in front had some wisps of Dog-colored hair trapped in the needles. It's like tinsel! Only smellier.

Speaking of smelly, Dog has been slightly...odorous lately. I think it's because she's spending more time in her Dogloo since it's colder outside.

Yes, I said Dogloo. That's what it's called. Shut up. It's a plastic igloo, for dogs. DOGLOO.

Anyway, last night JB and I decided to wash the stank off Dog, so we corralled her in the bathroom and scrubbed her with, um, my philosophy vanilla ice cream body wash. I thought it would make her smell good, okay?

Well, I am here to tell you that a dog washed with vanilla-scented body soap does not in fact become a vanilla-scented dog. I'm not sure what she smells like, exactly. Sort of - extra doggish, with a shampooey aftertaste. Her fur is nice and soft, though. I mean, her tinsel.


This thing is freaking me out. Check it for yourself - click the baby jesus until you piss him off (there's something I never thought I'd type), then roll over him with your mouse. WHY?

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21 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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