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03.28.2003 - 1:51 p.m.


I'm at home instead of at work today, and can I just say that god DAMN our phone rings all FUCKING day long. And it's not, you know, ARAGORN calling to pledge his undying love or anything, it's freaking TELEMARKETERS who just! Keep! Calling! What demographic do they have us in? "Mouth-breathers who sit at home all day waiting to purchase dubious long distance calling plans", apparently.

JB's due to arrive in about an hour, so in honor of his return I ran the vacuum halfheartedly for a minute or two. That is just the type of goodhearted wife I am, people. I also carefully placed one of his shoes on top of the deer head in our office.

Yes, there's a "head" in our "office", and I'm not really a Big Fan of the head, but JB is a hunter type and let's just be glad there's only ONE head, okay?

Anyway, I put things on the head all the time. Like a thong, carefully slung over its horns. A paper thought balloon with a crude comment protruding from its snout. I always think this is SO funny and he never notices. He finally gets perplexed by my chortling and I have to point out the condom dangling from the ear, or whatever. Then he pretends to be all annoyed and demands that I show the head more respect.

It is true that I am quite easily entertained.

So I'm guessing he won't see the latest head-desecration anytime soon, but I'll be snickering about it all day. A shoe! On its forehead! Hee!


We have plans to go to sushi tonight, at the goofily named Tuna House which is just down the street. It's our new favorite thing to do on a Friday night - head down there and sit at the sushi bar, order vats of sake and beer, and stuff ourselves like pelicans.

However. There is a dark side to the Tuna House. You see, we have found…our Couple Nemesis.

We have seen Couple Nemesis on several sushi outings now. They look about the same age as JB and I. Couple Nemesis always takes the coveted seats that are directly in front of the chef. They easily banter with the chef, and order the most exotic looking - and expensive!- menu items.

But what really makes them our mortal Couple Enemy is that they always take the paper wrappers from their chopsticks and expertly fold little fucking ORIGAMI SWANS that they then rest their chopsticks on.

I mean, really.

So clearly tonight we've got to order, like, blowfish, and fold something utterly cool that will amaze all the sushi patrons.

Hey, pornigami!

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I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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