03.08.2003 - 12:42 p.m.
So getting your stupid period
on a Saturday morning? Quelle fucking drag. The entire
weekend is stretched before me, and I'm saddled with The Curse,
First Day Of, which means constant bathroom breaks and fistfuls
of ibuprofen. Bah.
For me, the first day of the
red tide is always the worst. Trying to stem the mighty flow
is a full time job that necessitates house arrest and the dreariness
that is the super sized tampon.
My uterus: "I'm bleeding
Me: "Plug it up! Plug it UP!"
(This dramatic reenactment
of Carrie has been brought to you by a grant from the
Let us not even discuss the
predictable yet somehow still dramatic emergence of the Period
Zit, nor the nearly obscene craving for salt and vinegar potato
chips. Damn you, estrogen.
So, in other news which does
not have anything to do with menstruation, for which I am sure
you are quite glad, we are booked for a 7-day cruise in May!
Picture me jumping up and down and squealing and generally just
dorking the fuck out, and you will get an idea of how excited
I am. It departs from LA on May 3rd, and heads down to Mexico,
stopping at Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. If
this big-ass link works, you can see all the details here.
That means I've got less than
two months to not feel like I am running the risk of being harpooned
when I wear my two piece bathing suit, plus a couple of fake-n-bake
sessions are definitely in order so that I don't blind other
passengers with my wintery white hide.
Hopefully the Period Zit will
be gone by then, too, although judging by its current state I'm
not making any assumptions.
Yesterday we had the most schizophrenic
weather I've ever seen in the NW. It rained, then it hailed,
then it rained, then there was 20 minutes of the most beautiful
big fat fluffy white snowflakes that melted the instant they
hit the ground, then there was a period of blindingly bright
sunshine, then it hailed again. Weirdness. I was waiting for
the eventual storm of toads or debut of the apocalypse.
While the dog snored blissfully
and the cat watched the snow with rounded eyes, I got all crafted-out
yesterday afternoon. See, I was reading the always amazing Evany,
and I followed her link to Not Martha, where I saw her page about making
marble magnets, and I said YES YES YES! I
must also make those magnets!
Because really, how cute are
So I printed out the instructions
and I drove myself to a Michael's, which luckily is right near
my house. I then spent, like, five hours in there looking for
the stuff I needed because frankly I have never been in a crafts
store before and it's BIG and I don't know where the fucking
glue aisle is and where's those goddamn magnets? Plus
the place was filled with these competent-looking women who were
gathering supplies to make their own confetti for the big scrapbooking
event they were going to later.
When I finally had all my supplies
spread before me, I then had to spend another five hours hunting
through magazines for cute little ¾" images, which
is much harder than you think, missy. And then I realized I had
bought the wrong sort of marbles, because although they look
clear, most of them have some kind of mirror-y finish which makes
it hard to see those cute little images.
I did end up with some satisfying
magnets of my very own, and it was quite fun. I think there is
a market out there for tiny little porn magnets. Not that that's
what I made. I'm just saying.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004