Well, here it is Friday again
- teetering on the very edge of becoming The Weekend. The main
thing I can think of to tell you is that I have that new Missy
Elliot song stuck in my head. Keep your eye on my ba-rum-pum-pump-pump.
In other news, I had a makeover
yesterday. I've never had one of those before, and dear god,
I never will again. I had so much eye makeup applied to me that
despite frantic swabbing with vaseline-laden Q-tips, I'm still
sporting a giant layer of eyeliner. 24 hours later!
My office mate Molly had been
pimping this Origins brand of skin care to me. And since
she's one of those annoying people with glowing healthy skin,
I figured maybe there was something to this whole department
store makeup mentality vs. cheap crap from the drugstore.
Since makeup counters intimidate
me (I fear the creepy combo of the Clinique white lab coat girls
-we're cosmetic scientists!- and the gothed-out Mac dominatrixes),
Molly accompanied me to the Origins desk at Nordstrom's. We got
the standard pitch on cleansers, moisturizers, and various nebulous
snake oil salves with purported magical rejuvenating powers.
And then we were sent...to The Chair.
The Chair is where they sit
you down and basically aim a firehose of makeup at your face.
At least, that's what *I* looked like afterwards. Molly looked
halfway natural, but for some reason the makeup lady felt compelled
to ring my eyes until I looked like a raccoon. A raccoon at a
Bauhaus show. A raccoon at a Bauhaus show somehow morphed with
Tammy Faye Baker.
I did end up buying vats of
skincare stuff, because you never know - there day may still
come where someone describes my complexion as "peaches and
cream". Of course, they would have to be staggeringly drunk,
myopic, and misinformed as to what a peach actually IS, but that
day may come.
So now I have this, you know,
complicated routine to follow in order to clean my face. When
did I turn into this person, this expensive cleanser-followed
by toner-followed by something called a "skin guardian"?
I used to remove makeup by falling face first into a pillow at
4 AM, dammit. O, the halcyon days of youth. If I went even one.single.morning
without moisturizer these days, I would wither and crumple and
dry up alarmingly, just like in The Hunger, which by the way I did NOT know
was directed by Tony Scott until I went to find this link.
Bye for now. I need to exfoliate.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004