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07.30.02 -


It's Monday, again. Somehow I am continually surprised that wow, a whole week went by including a weekend, and here we all are. Again.

(And now, because I didn't post this yesterday, it's Tuesday. Ye gods.)

Ok, so we got a DOG this weekend! Sort of. She is not actually home with us, yet. What happened was, we spent a good portion of Saturday looking at two different humane societies, looking for labs. I know, it seems kind of limiting to only be looking for one type of dog, but that was the best compromise we could come to. I like short, silly dogs like Corgis and wiener dogs, and JB likes big spotted beasts like German Shorthairs and Springer Spaniels. We both like labs.

So there were no labs to be found, although there was a very cute Treeing Walker Hound who seemed very nice but would probably Tree our cat, pronto. On Sunday we moped around, re-visiting then discarding the whole puppy concept (two full time workers = bad parents). It didn't help that it was grey and drizzly and depressing outside, like even the weather gods were calling us dogless losers.

We ended finding a purebred dog rescue website, and sent some emails to the contact names listed under Labradors. And lo and behold, with the speed of the internet, a lady who breeds labs wrote us back. She said that she was actually looking to find someone to adopt one of her adult labs, a female golden that had - sired? whelped? birthed? beenthemotherof? - 3 litters before ending her breeding career. Would we like to come out and meet her?

And so we piled in the 4Runner and blazed off to Renton and we saw Dog. Dog is beautiful and energetic and apparently has no capacity for boredom when it comes to Frisbees. Dog has long pretty blonde eyelashes. Dog finds kiddie pools a major source of entertainment. Dog's name, unfortunately, is Ashley.

We plan to pick up Dog on Saturday. And give her a new name, dammit. Her owner has sent us several anxious emails listing all the stuff we should buy, like a doghouse (oh really, I thought she could just burrow into the earth like a mole), ear cleanser, NutraNuggets food, and Nyla bones. In a sweeping moment of generosity, JB send this lady a link to our personal website so she can see pictures of Dog in the future. I'm pretty sure we'll keep getting emails for a while - "I saw your camping photo with Ashley, please make sure her fur has been properly aerated after long walks!"

I'm nervous about Cat and Dog reacting to each other. Apparently Dog has been around cats indoors with no problems, but will give chase outdoors if they run from her. I don't know, I guess we'll see.


The other heart-poundingly thrilling thing we did this weekend - don't pay for the full seat, folks, you'll only need the *edge* - was that we went to JB's company picnic. Mind you, this was no flaccid get-together with ten people standing around watching the potato salad turn poisonous. This was a Very Big Deal, with hundreds of food booths, beer gardens, and games for kids. In fact, we were just about the only couple there without kids, which seemed weird to me. JB's Workplace is an incredibly huge software company that I always assumed was full of propellerheaded singletons, but maybe that's how it was, like 5 years ago. And now everyone has mellowed and gained the obligatory 15 pounds and reproduced.

After we had been there about an hour, sucking down the free beer and wandering around aimlessly, a parade went by. I don't know if it was the Heiferweizen (whoah, I just realized that particular beer has the word heifer in it. Heh. Mooooo.), or the Shriners, or the sheer strangeness of JB's company picnic being large enough to warrant a ferchrissakes parade, or what, but the whole thing just seemed so freaking hilarious.

There was this guy in an inflatable astronaut costume that could barely walk, and he held up this big line of 1) a big Seahawks football helmet car, 2) a high school marching band, and 3) the Sonic's mascot (a Sasquatch! Heeeeeee!). Loser Astronaut Boy finally bumbled off the path, and the helmet zoomed past him, like the way you drive when you've been stuck behind some dipshit going 25 MPH on the freeway.

JB leaned over and said "Wouldn't it be funny if I ran up and just - tackled that guy from behind? He'd never know what hit him." I thought about how that would look, the astronaut desperately wheeling his Michelin-man arms before - FUMP - falling on his face, helpless and unable to get back up or even turn over; JB streaking away while people stared. "Oh god," I said, "please, please, PLEASE do it. I'll pay you."

He didn't, of course. Sigh.

Oh, and I saw a lady with a beard. Not like a big ZZ Top type thing, but it was definitely there. So that kind of brought a nice circus atmosphere vibe to the whole event.


This? Is so damn funny. Even if you're not a big Apple dorkapotamus.

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I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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