|
06.11.2004 - 6:07 p.m.
Friday
Oh, oh, oh, this made me laugh:
Also, for NO reason, here is
the desktop image I'm using right now:
Cassidy, man. You gotta love
Cassidy. Even if he is a dirty fucking bloodsucker.
Oh, and ALSO? I won my damn
Gmail invite and even got written up in that newsletter for my
AMAZING GENIUS. Excerpt: "Still, there was one entry
that rose above the crowd with a faithful and creative adaptation
of a difficult art form. And that came from our winner, (ME),
whose effort in this silly little contest was...frankly, a little
scary."
"A little scary"!
That totally means I am a literary
god, right?
Millions should worship at
my feet and give me citrus pedicures, right?
Um...right?
Ok, FINE, he was obviously
embarrassed as all hell that I took forty bajillion hours to
write a MONSTROUS plea for the damn email account and was compelled
to make some mention of the poor retarded girl who lives her
pathetic life chained to a computer getting drool all over the
keyboard.
I still gots my Gmail, yo.
(WHAT? I AM A FAMOUS RAPPER
NOW.)
:::
Have you heard of Uncle Tupelo?
I heard the song "Moonshiner" today and I think I am
in love. I also recommend, for those of you who haven't
already seen my squealing on the notify, Jem - especially the
song "They", which makes me dance around singing into
a hairbrush. Because I am not only a famous rapper, I am a ROCK
STAR.
...with a hairbrush mic.
:::
We got Dog a new toy. Specifically,
a stuffed hedgehog. And lo, it is not only a hedgehog, which,
you know, rules, but it also is a squeaky toy.
This is a pants-shittingly,
urine-sprayingly, and other non-bodily-liquids-y/solids-y AWESOME
toy.
When Dog gets excited she bites
into her toys. She chews them and wags her tail and wiggles around
and generally acts like she is 29048934 evolutionary years from
the wolf. And now? She squeaks.
Oh my god, it is the best.
Thing. Ever.
It's like, it's like FLIPPER
lives at our house now. "Eee-er! Eee-er eee-er eee-er!",
says Dog. "Eee-er-ee-er-ee-er-ee-er-ee-er!"
I don't know when this activity
will cease to drop me like a poisoned arrow to the lung, but
right now the shit is so damn funny I am spending large portions
of my evenings just staggering around wheezing with laughter.
Dog: "Ee-er! EE-ER! EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER!!!!!"
Me: "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! BAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW! Heeeeeeeee!
Heeeeeeeeeeeee. Eeeeee. Oh. Haw. *gznort*."
Good times, good times. Feeling
blue? Life's little struggles got you down? Get yourself a squeaky
toy, man, and squeak that fucker for all it's worth.
last ::: next
9
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004
|
