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06.11.2004 - 6:07 p.m.

Friday

Oh, oh, oh, this made me laugh:

Also, for NO reason, here is the desktop image I'm using right now:

Cassidy, man. You gotta love Cassidy. Even if he is a dirty fucking bloodsucker.

Oh, and ALSO? I won my damn Gmail invite and even got written up in that newsletter for my AMAZING GENIUS. Excerpt: "Still, there was one entry that rose above the crowd with a faithful and creative adaptation of a difficult art form. And that came from our winner, (ME), whose effort in this silly little contest was...frankly, a little scary."

"A little scary"!

That totally means I am a literary god, right?

Millions should worship at my feet and give me citrus pedicures, right?

Um...right?

Ok, FINE, he was obviously embarrassed as all hell that I took forty bajillion hours to write a MONSTROUS plea for the damn email account and was compelled to make some mention of the poor retarded girl who lives her pathetic life chained to a computer getting drool all over the keyboard.

I still gots my Gmail, yo.

(WHAT? I AM A FAMOUS RAPPER NOW.)

:::

Have you heard of Uncle Tupelo? I heard the song "Moonshiner" today and I think I am in love. I also recommend, for those of you who haven't already seen my squealing on the notify, Jem - especially the song "They", which makes me dance around singing into a hairbrush. Because I am not only a famous rapper, I am a ROCK STAR.

...with a hairbrush mic.

:::

We got Dog a new toy. Specifically, a stuffed hedgehog. And lo, it is not only a hedgehog, which, you know, rules, but it also is a squeaky toy.

This is a pants-shittingly, urine-sprayingly, and other non-bodily-liquids-y/solids-y AWESOME toy.

When Dog gets excited she bites into her toys. She chews them and wags her tail and wiggles around and generally acts like she is 29048934 evolutionary years from the wolf. And now? She squeaks.

Oh my god, it is the best. Thing. Ever.

It's like, it's like FLIPPER lives at our house now. "Eee-er! Eee-er eee-er eee-er!", says Dog. "Eee-er-ee-er-ee-er-ee-er-ee-er!"

I don't know when this activity will cease to drop me like a poisoned arrow to the lung, but right now the shit is so damn funny I am spending large portions of my evenings just staggering around wheezing with laughter.

Dog: "Ee-er! EE-ER! EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER-EE-ER!!!!!"
Me: "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! BAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW! Heeeeeeeee! Heeeeeeeeeeeee. Eeeeee. Oh. Haw. *gznort*."

Good times, good times. Feeling blue? Life's little struggles got you down? Get yourself a squeaky toy, man, and squeak that fucker for all it's worth.

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9 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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