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08.16.2003 - 12:36 p.m.

Saturday

I have a problem with Dog.

See, she's got this thing where she periodically wants to grab onto an object and carry it around in her mouth. Typically the victim is either the stuffed armadillo, or the pelican beanie baby. But if she can't find them, she grabs a shoe. It is almost always one of MY shoes, JB's being bigger and clunkier and apparently less fun to chomp onto.

...

So she nabs a shoe, and cruises around with it for a while. Sometimes she makes happy whuffling sounds, to indicate what fun it is to have a shoe in one's mouth. Whuff! Snort! This flipflop, it is so NICE! In my mouth!

...

After a while, she abandons the shoe. Just drops it wherever and goes along her merry way. Meh. Time for a nap.

...

This means practically every goddamn time I look for a pair of shoes, I can't find them both. I have to do this reconnaissance mission, combing the house to find where she's left the other shoe.

Here's a sandal she left on her dog bed, for instance. The other one? No one knows! It is a mystery!

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She's got one or two other habits that are equally annoying. MORT BLORP GLURP MLOT GURT GURT SLOP Oh toilet you're the best BLOOP SLUP.

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But really, what are you going to do? I love you. How about a biscuit?

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JournalCon 2003

12 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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