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05.02.2003 - 6:55 p.m.

Friday

At: a loud sports bar, having happy hour drinks with Workplace friends.
The Stuff-We-Need-To-Pack List that I had scribbled earlier in the day: has just been passed to my coworker Brian.
He's: a guy.

Brian: Dear lord. Dear lord. HOW long are you going for again?
Me (defensively): A week.
Brian: "Too-small pink shorts?" What does that even mean?
Me: Well, they are a little too small in that they look great when you're standing up, but not so much when you're sitting down, so if I'm gonna be, like, standing around, then they'll be great, but if I'm thinking I'll be sitting in them -
Brian: (makes weird batting-at-air gesture with hands)
Me: ANYWAY. I haven't decided if I'm going to bring them or not. Hence, the question mark.
Brian: PFMs? What are PFMs?
Me: Please Fuck Me shoes.
Me: Duh.
Brian: What is up with the frownie face next to "Tampons"?
Me (having lost all patience): Well, what the fuck do you think it's there for? It is to indicate that the necessity of packing tampons is a total bummer.
Brian: Don't you have a calendar? Why didn't you schedule, you know, around?
Molly: Listen mister, we are not, like, egg timers, okay? Things aren't always predictable.
Me: Yeah.
Brian's girlfriend Alyssa: Let me see that list. Mm hm. Mm hm. Yep, this is all pretty standard stuff.
Brian: Whaaaat?
Alyssa: Brian. What do you bring when you stay the night at my house?
Brian: Nothing.
Alyssa: Right.
Brian: Because I have a toothbrush there.
Alyssa: Right. And what do I bring when I stay the night at your house?
Brian (dawningly): Noah's. Fucking. Ark.
Alyssa: And that's just for one night.
Brian: Damn.

Have a great week, everyone. Check this at some point - I'll try and moon you. Whee!

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