05.02.2003 - 6:55 p.m.
At: a loud sports bar, having happy hour drinks
with Workplace friends.
The Stuff-We-Need-To-Pack List that I had scribbled earlier
in the day: has just been passed to my coworker Brian.
He's: a guy.
Brian: Dear lord. Dear lord.
HOW long are you going for again?
Me (defensively): A week.
Brian: "Too-small pink shorts?" What does that even
Me: Well, they are a little too small in that they look great
when you're standing up, but not so much when you're sitting
down, so if I'm gonna be, like, standing around, then
they'll be great, but if I'm thinking I'll be sitting
in them -
Brian: (makes weird batting-at-air gesture with hands)
Me: ANYWAY. I haven't decided if I'm going to bring them or not.
Hence, the question mark.
Brian: PFMs? What are PFMs?
Me: Please Fuck Me shoes.
Brian: What is up with the frownie face next to "Tampons"?
Me (having lost all patience): Well, what the fuck do you think
it's there for? It is to indicate that the necessity of packing
tampons is a total bummer.
Brian: Don't you have a calendar? Why didn't you schedule, you
Molly: Listen mister, we are not, like, egg timers, okay?
Things aren't always predictable.
Brian's girlfriend Alyssa: Let me see that list. Mm hm. Mm hm.
Yep, this is all pretty standard stuff.
Alyssa: Brian. What do you bring when you stay the night at my
Brian: Because I have a toothbrush there.
Alyssa: Right. And what do I bring when I stay the night at your
Brian (dawningly): Noah's. Fucking. Ark.
Alyssa: And that's just for one night.
Have a great week, everyone.
at some point - I'll try and moon you. Whee!
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004