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11.29.2004 - 3:32 p.m.


After almost a full week away from the office, I felt something like a wall of depression hit me as I got ready for work this morning. Back to the same old routine, same problems, same clock-watched hours crawling by while I spend my time waiting to get up and do it all over again the next day.

I just keep coming back to this same place, this same unhappy, unfulfilled place, year in and year out.

I want a job where I can do my best at the things I am good at, and learn how to be better at the things I am not good at. I want to feel like what I do makes a difference in other people's lives. I want to get up in the morning and feel positive about the work day ahead of me.

That's what I want.

When I look at those words, it feels so clear that I need to make changes, take hold of this section of my life that's spent at a full time job and figure out how to make things better. I deserve it, whines a self-pitying voice deep inside, it's not too much to ask, is it?

Well, when you never get off your lazy butt in order to fix what's broken, I guess it is.


I hope you had a good holiday, if you were celebrating. I had a nice time in Oregon, although I was so very glad to get back home. Staying in someone else's house makes me get all persnickety, because every deviation from the way I do things in my house is WRONG WRONG WRONG and putting up with it is like living in a cave. In the woods. Surrounded by wolves. Wolves with fleas.

For instance:

- Silverware must be put in the dishwasher facing downwards. Do I want to reach in there and doink my finger on a fork tine? NO I DO NOT.

- Toilet paper must be 2 ply. 1 ply toilet paper was developed by Satan and Osama bin Laden.

- Every bathroom must have kleenex. Have you tried blotting your lipstick with toilet paper? Even if it's 2 ply, it sticks to your lips. Plus, blowing your nose with toilet paper, well, that's just depressing.

Bonus points for coordinating the design on your kleenex box with the shower curtain.

- Laundry detergent must smell good. What you might not realize is that whatever you're washing your clothes in is seeping into your entire house. This is especially true if you've lived at the same place for a long time and you keep using the same laundry soap. So, I'm just saying.

- Towels must only be used once. I've only gotten anal about this one in the last year or so, but now I am a firm believer. Fresh towels make your bathroom smell good and they feel good on your skin. Used towels make your bathroom smell BAD.

- Sheets must have a quality thread count. Like 300 or better. Oh, you might mock me on this one, but trust me: there IS a difference. A big, big, big difference.

That all sounds very princess-and-the-pea, but I'm really not a snob, I just have preferences. Also, I'm getting frumpy and set in my ways in my dotage. Damn kids, get off my lawn.


JB and I went out to a U-cut place yesterday for our Christmas tree. We had a hard time getting going because JB couldn't find the saw he wanted to bring (Me: "They have saws." JB: "A guy's got to use his own saw, babe."), but we did finally drive out there and pick out a beautiful Noble fir which, despite our region's miles of evergreens stretching as far as the eye can see, still cost eighty bucks.

The tree is just right, its tip barely under the ceiling. Last night I got out all my old favorite ornaments, including this vaguely naughty one, and JB and I hung them from the branches and turned on the strings of lights, and it's perfect, I tell you. Magical!

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38 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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