08.18.2004 - 12:20 a.m.
I've been having some major
problems with discombobulating fatigue lately. Weird,
over-the-top grogginess and even more clumsiness than my usual
batch. I've been stumbling around like a zombie, I have typos
in all my emails, and my eyelids have been spending half their
time drooping southward towards my goddamn spleen (are
spleens reeeal super low on your body? For the purposes of this
"humorous", heh, diatribe, let's say yes!). I have
a bruise the size of Texas on my left hip from thwocking directly
into a DOOR. A DOOR that WAS NOT MOVING. Another indicator that
I might be having, er, trouble in paradise was the incident yesterday
of me hitting a car. A CAR. A CAR THAT WAS NOT MOVING, but was
patiently waiting to turn right out of a QFC parking lot. I was
turning right into the lot, and my brain said "Yo, bitch,
you gots ple-HENTY room to get round that muthafucker" -
(because my brain is totally ghetto, maybe?) (Luckily it was
just a fender bender and no one was hurt, but basically my hand-eye
coordination was apparently fucked all to hell and back
because hello? Who hits an UNMOVING car when they are CLEARLY
in my line of sight?).
The upshot here is that I have
plans to see a doctor about this, so no tips-n-ideas about my
potential brain tumor, folks. Love ya, but please don't go freakin'
So, my Valley of the Dolls
condition has made it impossible to get up in the morning at
a reasonable hour. JB has tried his best but nothing works -
whispering, yelling, poking with a sharp stick - nada. And I
snore right on through my BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP alarm, coma-like
and drooling on the pillow.
We're talking dead as that
little horrible-ass chewed up girl in DoTD; you know, the scary
scene in the beginning? Except, you know, without the fatal-biting-of-JB
* Was that a spoiler? Fuck,
I'm sorry, but the movie's been out for months so spoiler-avoidance
around these parts is, like, expired, man.
To reiterate, I AM seeing a
doctor for this crap and making sure my meds are playing nicely
with one another to figure out if I have some thyroid problemo
and I WILL get to the Bottom Of This Problem soon.
Here is my challenge I am posting
to the WHOLE WORLD…uh, the oh-so-appreciated slice of planet
earth that reads this, anyway. I am damn well getting out
of bed in the morning tomorrow, come hell or high water.
I am getting up and I am going to WORK OUT. Albeit to an activity
DVD, how embarassing, ("Pilates In Three 10-minute Sessions!",
but it's better than not exercising ONE DAMN BIT, which has been
my MO for the last several uhhhhh, um, months.
It's here. My pinky swear,
posted for you. And I promise, I will tell you if I did it or
not. Cross your fingers for my renewed sense of self-discipline,
and my battle against the narcolepsy monster!
UPDATE: Uh, it's 9:15 right now, and uhhhh....I totally, totally
didn't do it. Because I finally fell asleep at like FOUR-DAMN-AM.
And 7? It came toooo early, my friends.
But! I did do one part of the
"belly" section, with my perky virtual Pilates instructor,
and I am including a link to an incredibly retarded photo I took of my legs (raised, to indicate
"crunching"), and Whatshername, the smiley gal who
tells me what to do (Her: "Doesn't that feel greeaat?"
Me: "NO. Fuggoff.")
THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME,
I SWEAR IT! A WORKOUT THAT LASTS LONGER THAN 10 MINUTES! I will
conquer you, 7 AM.
ALSO, NOTE THAT I AM NOW VERY
LATE FOR WORK. AND, APPARENTLY, UNABLE TO STOP TYPING IN ALL
Happy Wednesday, folks! Heh.
last ::: next
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004