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05.04.2004 - 4:48 p.m.


Let me give you...a hypothetical situation.

Let's say that, hypothetically, you were in your office yesterday afternoon, when a coworker came and told you to look out the window. And when you did, you saw a woman lying on the Burke-Gilman trail, just sort of sprawled on her side, with her bike nearby, also lying on its side.

Now, would you A) immediately exit the building and go outside to make sure she was okay, or B) perch on your couch with two coworkers, watching as people rode or walked by the woman, taking bets on whether they would stop, and laughing hysterically each time they didn't.

A? Oh. Yeah. Me too. Totally. *cough* What sort of ubelievably insensitive fucking asshole would LAUGH at some poor woman who could be suffering from some kind of SEIZURE, or...uh....or....

Oh hell. I laughed myself silly. I sat and watched people go by and laughed all the harder when they surreptitiously stared at her but kept going. We were yelling at the window, going "Hey! A woman with a stroller! Moms are empathetic, she'll stop! Oh! Oh no! Nope, just keeeeept on going! Lady, you're heartless!"

I know. I am on the express train to hell. You've all just clicked away in disgust and deleted me from your bookmarks.

Seriously, to my credit, she really didn't look like she'd fallen. She looked like she was asleep. Or, possibly, dead. Come on, if she was dead, what could I have done? Poked her with a stick to release pent-up decomposition gasses? No thank you.

So there we were, cracking up like loons, when our sysadmin popped in. "What are you guys laughing at?" he asked innocently. We weakly gestured out the window, wiping tears of mirth from our cheeks. "Oh my god," he said, staring. "You guys, you guys are so, so bad." And with that, he was off, walking briskly outside and talking to the woman, who rubbed her eyes sleepily, sat up, and thanked him.

My officemate looked at me. "Buzzkill," he said. I nodded."Totally."


Heh. Heh heh heh. Cat enema. Heh.

EDITED to say, how RAD is absentmindedly posting the SAME link TWICE in your journal? SO RAD. Cat enema? JUMPED THE FUCKING SHARK. Ahem.
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19 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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