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11.24.2003 - 2:31 p.m.


I'm having a day where I can't seem to stop the unproductive and stressful process of adding up my various woes. It's like, individually everything has a certain amount of anxiety associated with it but piled together I feel completely overwhelmed.

I'm stressed to the gills because JB's parents are arriving at our house tomorrow evening and I need to clean the entire fucking house tonight including vacuuming doing laundry cleaning the guest bathroom washing their sheets cleaning the kitchen top to bottom and by the way did you know I am expected to produce an edible turkey in three days not to mention gravy and stuffing and I have never cooked ANY of those fucking things??

I also need to stop by a store at some point because I do not have anything even resembling a platter for the turkey and apparently I need something called a "fat separator" for the gravy and I can't leave early today to get started on picking up the house because I have two in-person interviews to get through and the amount of crap that I need to get done before Macworld in January is truly staggering and I haven't started on ANY of it because all the work requires this graphics person that I have yet to HIRE and if none of these candidates work out I am going to have to start the process all over again and that thought gives me fucking hives and as an added benefit to hiring someone I have to change offices which is displacing someone who is extremely upset about losing their office and I just know they hate my guts right now also I think maybe I need a roasting pan for the turkey or will one of those cheapie foil deals work?

I'm kicking myself for not having spent any time cleaning this weekend but instead working in the yard with JB to rake up eighty jillion billion leaves which took freaking forever and then we had a party to go to at his coworker's house on Saturday which sucked at first but improved vastly once everyone started getting thoroughly impaired by red wine and I asked JB afterwards if he thought I acted okay and he said I "played with their kid too much" which he said "looked kind of weird" and I thought well it's come to this instead of indulging in reckless inebriated behavior by ripping off my wine-sodden shirt or something I now spend too much time playing hide and seek with a 5 year old and shit I got criticized anyway.

Then of course I had to have a big old enormous fight with JB when we got home on Saturday night and like that wasn't quite enough we had the exact same fight on Sunday night after I spent about fifty hours in the goddamn kitchen making cookies and cranberry bread which in retrospect was totally fucking stupid because I should have been CLEANING THE HOUSE.

Also, I have a cold. WHY GOD WHY?


Right. So the woe-adding, not so much a great way to pass the time.


IMPORTANT HAIR UPDATE: it's stripey. Mostly dark overall with streaks of blonde and red. I think I'm happy with it.


So I made these cookies last night. "Pumpkin Frangelico Chocolate Chip Cookies". I found the recipe on the web yesterday afternoon, it goes as follows:

3/4 cup sugar
1 cup pumpkin
1/4 cup Frangelico
1/2 cup shortening
1 tbsp grated orange peel
2 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp each baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup dark semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix together sugar, pumpkin, Frangelico, shortening, and orange peel with mixer until well blended. Sift dry ingredients, except chocolate chips, and stir into blended mixture. Add chocolate chips. Drop onto ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake at 375F until light brown, about 8-10 minutes.

Warning! Warning! I have not included this recipe in order to share it with you for the purposes of you actually making these cookies! Because they are Ass Cookies! As in, Tastes Like!

For those of you with a culinary bent, is there some obvious ingredient missing from the above list? Because my dolloped spoonfuls of dough cooked just as is, and emerged from the oven not in melted round cookie shapes, but stiff and dry spoon-shapes. And the taste. I was hoping for a pumpkin pie flavor, enhanced by both Frangelico and chocolate, was ASS.

I threw everything away, washed all the bowls and spoons and things, and started over. I used the recipe from a bag of Ghiradelli chips and produced tasty non-ass plain chocolate chip cookies.

Sometimes, that's the way the cookie crumbles. (I AM SORRY I COULD NOT HELP SAYING THAT.)

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38 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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