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09.10.2003 - 5:40 p.m.


Sad and itchy am I.

My dog has fleas. (Man, if only I had a ukulele.) She's been kind of extra scratchy lately, and overly appreciative of the Dangit, but today she went into a robust butt-chomping campaign that finally compelled me to search through her fur. And ick, there were FLEAS in there.

I immediately headed out to the pet clinic we go to, which was closed. Apparently they are closed Wednesdays. Because that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

So I drove to the 24-hour emergency veterinary hospital.

Shut up, it's not like I burst into a bustling-with-surgeries-ER and shoved aside pets with gunshot wounds, it's a regular clinic too.

Admittedly I may have expected more of a concerned response from the receptionist. "My dog has fleas!" I announced dramatically as I approached the counter, thinking she would spring into action and maybe insist that I bring Dog in for a special doctor-prescribed scratching.

Instead: "You want Frontline or Advantage?"

Did you know about these newfangled flea cure-alls? You just squeeze some liquid onto your pet's skin between their shoulder blades, and that's it - the fleas are supposed to die within 18 hours, or something. And not in a pleasant way, either:

Fipronil, an active ingredient of FRONTLINE, works by blocking stabilizing ions in the neurons of invertebrates like fleas. Without the stabilizing ions, the fleas die from hyperstimulation.

So basically they freak themselves to death. Weird.

Dog has been dosed, so she'll be fine soon enough, but in the meantime I feel sorry for her just itch itch itching away. Poor Dog! I would scratch her, but when I did that earlier I got a flea mashed underneath my fingernail! And Lo, It Was Gross.

It's a good thing I picked up the flea stuff, because Dog is scheduled to spend the weekend at my coworker's house. It seems like it would be slightly rude to essentially infect her house with vermin after she has offered to do us the favor of dogsitting. Didn't fleas spread the Black Plague? Or was it rats? Or was it rats carrying fleas?

God, now I'm all itchy.

Anyway, we needed someone to dogsit because JB and I are going to Vegas for the weekend to attend my good friend Jen's wedding, which is going to be at the Paris. Married at Paris, isn't that the coolest? That's on Saturday, so we'll fit in some other fun activities like seeing "O" on Friday night, and hopefully slurping up drinks at rumjungle in Mandalay, and will I make JB do the Race For Atlantis ride in Caesar's, where you wear the 3D goggles and you feel like you're really moving? You bet your ASS I will! Because I love that ride even more than the Gravitron!

I'm looking forward to just being in Las Vegas again. I have the best memories of that town - each time I've been there I've had an amazingly great time, even if it was on business. And the year JB and I spent living in Vegas were some of the most carefree, enjoyable days of my life. It seems so perfect that I'll get to see my friend get married there! She planned this just for me!

No? Okay, fine, it's still really cool.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must obsessively vacuum the house and scratch at invisible bugs on my skin. If I don't talk to you beforehand, have a great weekend.


Perhaps this slipper will ease my suffering.

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JournalCon 2003

12 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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