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09.07.2003 - 4:59 p.m.


On more than one occasion lately, someone has asked me where I live, and when I replied "Bellevue", they have responded by making a FACE. A yuck face.

Seriously, what barn do you have to be raised in to decide that it's okay to make a FACE when someone tells you where they live? How is that not the rudest fucking thing on the planet? Each time I've just responded with a sort of shrug, but the more I've thought about it the more it just really pisses me off.

If you're not familiar with the area, Bellevue is a city east of downtown Seattle. It's all of 15 minutes away, across Lake Washington. To an apparently large amount of people that live on the west side, Bellevue is the lamest, squarest, most un-hip place to live on earth.

It is true Bellevue is more than a little lacking in culture, but you still don't get to openly criticize me for living there. It's just as obnoxious and stupid as me saying "Capitol Hill? You live in Capitol Hill? Aren't you scared of getting attacked by roving homosexuals?"

A while back, one of the engineers at Workplace asked me where I lived, and when I answered, he said, "I'm sorry."

Here's what I wish I would have said in response:

"You're sorry? For what? The fact that I could actually afford to buy a nice house there? Are you sorry I live in a quiet neighborhood with no crime that I'm aware of? Maybe you're sorry that you've never actually spent any time in Bellevue, but you're convinced it makes you sound totally urbane to rag on it? Because, yeah, I'm sorry too."

I didn't say that, of course. I asked, "why?". He said, "Oh, I just hate Bellevue."

Here's what I've decided - it's FINE if you want to be a snob about where I live, as long as those thoughts stay in your head and you do not communicate them through a facial expression that looks as though you just bit into a cat turd.

Although you may want to consider the possibility that you may just not be quite as unbelievably cool as you think you are.

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JournalCon 2003

9 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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