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08.10.2003 - 2:35 p.m.


As I write this, JB is somewhere on Mt. Rainier, heading for base camp at 10,000 feet. He'll stay there, at Camp Muir, until around midnight when they rope up and make for the summit - a steep and steady slog that takes around seven hours.

Unless the weather shits the bed. I don't know what conditions are like on the mountain but here in Bellevue it's been raining all morning long, complete with rumbling thunder which caused a very nervous Dog to crawl halfway up my ass. If they encounter crappy weather they'll either have to turn back partway into the climb, or make the decision not to leave Muir at all. Either way would be a huge disappointment for JB, who's been waiting months for this trip.

I hope he makes it to the top, to appease his summit fever, but most of all I just want him off the damn mountain safe and sound.

I am spending my Sunday in what I believe to be a comparable fashion. The challenge of physical endurance, the imminent danger, the sheer adventurous thrill! …uh, of sitting around with dirty hair drinking coffee and wearing a giant sloppy t-shirt with "Rogue Brutal Bitter (Brutalize Me!)" printed on it. Yeaaah.

My relative sloth today had me thinking of the process of setting goals, and how I so rarely follow through on, well, anything. Witness my New Year's thoughts:

I Will Get In Shape This Year. I will go to the gym, even if it's dark and I'm tired and hungry and every molecule in my body is screaming to go home and become one with the couch. I will eschew, not chew, Workplace's more fattening dinners and lunches in favor of greens and fiber! I will look good in the fake leather halter top I bought once in a fit of optimism/insanity.

Pfft. I don't even know what to say about this. I was doing really well until our cruise, and I just haven't done very well since. And yes, the cruise was in fucking MAY and it is now AUGUST. It's depressing, and it's the same old goddamn story. I will never understand how I can so readily succumb to bad habits when I am so much happier and healthier when I am more disciplined. Sigh, moving on…

I will get rid of this confounded cold before the end of 2003.

Well hey. Looky there, I actually accomplished something I said I was going to. Sure, I've spent most of the summer snurfling with allergies, but that's different.

I will continue to spend happy weekends rooting around in Half Price Books like a truffle-hunting pig.

How is that even a New Year's goal? That's cheating, is what that is. I mean, DUH. That store would have to burn to the ground for me to stop pillaging there on a regular basis.

I will try to help make Workplace succeed.

Oh, boy. There's a book I could write on that subject, not that it would be a very interesting book or come with a nice cover or include lots of smoking hot sex scenes. So, you know, it wouldn't be a bestseller or anything. In fact, it would be whiny and stupid and lame. I have just decided not to write this book!

I'll say this: I do believe I am trying to help make Workplace succeed, although I could probably be doing a much better job.

I will wear 'smoky' eye makeup at least once.

No! I have not! I don't even know how to do this! Damn.

I will mince around in front of JB in sleazy lingerie and clear plastic heels.

Uhhhhhhhh. No. I haven't. I am The Worst Wife Ever. I even have the shoes, too. See, I bought them for my wedding because I thought they looked like glass slippers. No, my wedding was not held at a strip club.

I will do something that scares me.

Lessee. Something I did…on purpose, presumably…that scared me. Well, there's this one stretch of trail on Tiger Mountain that is really really steep and when you come down it you have to do a little running step to keep from falling and I'm always scared I'm going to plow directly into the people coming up the trail, but I've done the trail like three times this summer. Does that count? No? Yeah, no.

Ooh, wait, I know! I signed up for JournalCon, even though I'm scared of being a giant horking dork. There.

I will go on an incredible vacation.

I'm gonna give myself this one. Our cruise was pretty dang awesome.

I will drink more water.

"More", eh? That's a nice non quantifying term.

I will try not to take so much ibuprofen.

"So much", eh?

I will paint my nails more often.

"More often" - oh, I'll stop that. I definitely have been painting my toenails on a regular basis. Go me!

I will make at minimum one non work-related friend.

How pitiful is it that I listed that as a goal for the year, you know? But yes, I have. Like you! And you!

I will go to the doctor.

Yeah, to try and get rid of that stupid fucking cold. It sucked.

I will try and write in this journal more often.

Hrm. No, I don't think I've really kicked it up a notch, entry-posting-wise.

I will somehow, without actually having to be a TWoP recapper or talented/seasoned journalist, get my diary linked on Damn Hell Ass Kings.

This one? Is just embarrassing.

I will not let my face get sunburned this summer.

I have tried to be better about sunscreen this summer. It's true. However, my forehead is currently a little peely from getting thoroughly roasted two weeks ago., I didn't stick to this one.

I will be gracious about turning 29 and not make big annoying squawks about being dangnear30.

I think yesterday's entry pretty much qualifies as a big annoying squawk. I have failed yet again!

I will make JB take ballroom dancing lessons with me.

Erm, no.

I will plant a magnolia tree.

I have not. But! We did plant a pretty little Japanese maple just the other day. Our nosy neighbor even called to say how much she liked it.

I will go hiking and camping more often.

With the exception of the week of the Fourth of July, I have not camped ONCE this summer. NOT ONCE. We have, though, done a decent amount of hiking.

I will floss.

Uh…yes. I have, technically, flossed since January 1, 2003.

Well, well, well! What a glowing list of proud achievements! What an amazing testament to the glory of human perseverance! What a -

Fuck it. I'm going to go soak in a hot bath. I leave you, for no good reason, with this:

Bow chicka wow WOW!

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6 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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