07.16.2003 - 7:49 p.m.
Today at work I encountered
a document that, among other things, contained the following
sentence: "Distribution Company will submit a statement
of credit Funds to the Reseller with credit statement such Funds
to the Reseller each quarter." Trying to parse that out
was making my brain hurt so I snagged a passing engineer.
"Can you tell me what
this sentence means?" I asked. He read carefully. "It
appears nonsensical," he replied. "Thank god,"
I said, "because I was thinking I was either a complete
moron or the document was screwy."
"You know," he said
solemnly, "those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive
ZING! Ouch, Sir Engineer, with
your Vulcan-esque logic sword! I bleed!
Also at Workplace there was
much scurrying about as a delivery of some sort of perishable
plankton arrived. See, we have this enormous saltwater fish tank
in our lobby - it's amazingly beautiful, actually - and lately
our clownfish have been hatching eggs. And then, sadly, all the
little Nemos get either eaten or sucked into the filtration system.
So the guys are brainstorming all these preparations to extract
the wee fishies right after they're hatched and separate them
from the tank so they have a fighting chance at life. The plankton,
apparently, is what the clownfish babies eat. It's endearing
to see how into it they are (the engineers, although presumably
the fish will have a vested interest in the process as well).
Who loves Robyn's cat Tubby so much they bought a t-shirt? I do, I do!
Also, who has the shiniest
face in all the land? I do, I do!
I saw two annoying car adornments
on my drive home today. One was a bumper sticker that said "I
<heart> Thoroughbred Racehorses!". I mean, sure, maybe
the driver was a breeder or trainer or something and this was
their like perky way of saying so, but in general it just seems
like a sentiment so entirely devoid of any meaningful information
- wait, that's pretty much the definition of a bumper sticker,
right there. (Years ago I had one that said "Kill Your Television"
because I was so cool and, you know, not hypocritical AT FUCKING
Oh, and the second one was
a license plate holder that said "Geminis Do It Twice As
Good." To that, I can only say:
(Why does that look
all abnormal and Cousin It? It's me from the back, I swear)
Random: best keyboard ever!
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004