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06.08.2003 - 11:55 a.m.


If I were a superhero today, I would be Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl. Sure, those might be lame superpowers, but come on - the n' is sassy.

Wolverine: "Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl! An evil force is at hand, threatening the very world we live in!"
L.B.A.n' P. G.: "Okay, give me a minute. Oh. Waauurgh. Fuck. Can you help me up? Mmm, sideburns."
The Punisher: "Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl, I need your help seeking justice in this crime-filled city."
L.B.A.n' P. G.: "Hey, you're not really a superhero, Vigilante Boy. But you do fit the bill for this stupid dialogue that was initially meant to illustrate the depth of my pain but now has veered into a "Comic book characters Sundry would totally pork" type fantasy. Mmm, muscle-y."

Fact: "pork" as a verb never fails to crack me up.


ANYWAY, the reason I'm tottering around like I've got a broomstick rammed up my ass is because we hiked Mt. Si yesterday, and apparently my legs got more of a workout than they've been used to lately. It's a stiff hike: 3400 ft up, 8 miles round trip. And yesterday? Was hot as hell. I sweated (choose your colloquialism: "like a whore in church", or, "like a fat kid at a barn dance") the whole entire time and deeply questioned our sanity of spending the afternoon slogging up a great big huge chuck of dirt instead of lying by a nice cool body of water somewhere. JB had it worse - he had on his pack, filled with water jugs for training weight.

Going up was hard enough, what with the sweating and the panting and the hating-the-fucker-who-jogged-by (it was like 13583 degrees out! Who ARE these people?), but coming down, especially towards the end, was a real bitch - my knees and legs were sending angry painful telegrams to my brain: STOP NOW ARE YOU INSANE STOP.

It was good to get home and take cold showers and then sit around in the backyard re-hydrating and then eventually undo all the caloric depletion of the day by eating bowls of vanilla ice cream.

This morning JB is off diving, and I'm thinking of heading over to the Bellevue Mall because I! Need! More! Body Butter! And I can't believe I forgot about Weetabix's numerous pimp-outs of the stuff, because really, I'm a big fan of following up on products mentioned in journals I read. I would never have tried that Special K Red Berries stuff if I hadn't read about it in Weet's diary. (Random: why do they call it red berries, when it's strawberries? Why? "Red berries" sounds vaguely poisonous.) I remember running out and buying Old Navy yoga pants after a glowing description by TranceJen.

In fact, you should tell me what product that you bought lately and love, love, love. Yes! Then I can buy it too and we can be product-buddies! Unless, of course, you bought something lame.


I checked my Yahoo email account this morning and I had a message with the subject line: "SPAM: live debt free." Are they just not even trying anymore?


Last week I went to my very first book club get together, which thankfully was less about expressing meaningful opinions about the book and more about girls getting together and chatting and laughing and drinking and eating like a metric ton of strawberries. There was my friend Peachy, and Chiara, and I got to meet Mrs. Roboto (who had the most awesome purse, like, EVER), and Dishery, plus some other super cool chicks who all had better hair than me. Fun!

The book was The Botany of Desire, by the way, and it was really interesting. By the way, when I checked Amazon to nab that link, these are my Official Recommendations:

Book:A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers.
DVD: Spider-Man (Widescreen Edition).
Music: Heart Shaped World, Chris Isaak.
Tools: Leatherman 80080003 Squirt P4, Storm.
Kitchen: Emsa Perfect Beaker Measuring Beaker with Freshness Seal

Amazon, how you know my desires! Sort of. Well, two out of five isn't bad. Except I already have the Eggers book and the Chris Isaak CD. Oh well.


Okay. Off to hobble to the mall. In lieu of a clever wrap-up to this rambling, unusually link-heavy entry, please accept some pansies from my backyard. Hopefully sans dogshit, but no promises.

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I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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