05.31.2003 - 12:15 p.m.
The other morning there was
a dead mouse outside our bedroom patio door, presumably slaughtered
by Cat. It was very small and grey and its fur looked a little
chewed. When I got home from work I checked and it was still
there, lying on its side with its paws curled. I got a paper
plate, picked up the mouse by the tail, put it on the plate,
and carried it to the backyard, where I put it on our table -
then promptly forgot about it.
When JB got home, he did his
usual routine of exciting Dog into a lather by saying "Do
you want to play Frisbee? Do you? You DO?" and headed
to the backyard to get the Frisbee. There was a pause.
"Is that," he asked
casually, "for dinner? Seems undercooked."
I had to explain that I put
the mouse out there so we could bury it, to which he responded
hell no, he wasn't going to bury some damn rodent,
we're throwing that thing in the trash can.
"But look at it,"
I pleaded, wielding the corpse-plate before me. "Its sad
little gripped paws. It seems like it was a nice mouse."
JB rolled his eyes so far back
in his head they made a faint popping sound when they came back,
but he did get the shovel.
We saw Finding Nemo last night
- well, the 4:45 matinee show, actually. The theater was packed,
completely packed with kids. It looked like a couple of first
grade classes had chosen the movie as a field trip. I was initially
regretting choosing such an early show, but they were pretty
quiet, unlike the little monsters I sat in front of during Two
Towers (Parents? Don't take your 12 year old boy's birthday party
to Cinerama, okay? Just don't).
Anyway, it was awesome. I loved
it. Pixar can do no wrong. Run don't walk.
After the movie, we went to
our favorite sushi place (shut up about the movie, it's not like
I ordered clownfish). Remember our couple nemesis? Well, turns out we have more than
There we were, eating our dynamite
rolls and sneering at the people next to us who kept ordering
sushi items "without the spicy sauce, please"
(pussies), when a new couple came in and our sushi chef exchanged
BOWS with them. A special sake appeared almost instantly, without
them having ordered it. Served in boxes.
Then Manburu, the chef, unearthed
a never-before-seen tub of what looked like giant snails. He
carefully pried out a curlicue of slimy, turgid flesh from a
shell, sliced it into pieces and divided the pieces into two
small bowls. Then, he tipped the liquid that the snails were
floating in so it poured about an inch into each bowl.
It was utterly, and completely,
repulsive looking. And sure enough, it was served to the couple,
who dug right in. As you know, a condition of a sushi couple
nemesis is not only are they maybe fluent in Japanese and revered
by the restaurant staff, but also that they eat things you would
only consider if, say, you were perhaps competing on Fear Factor.
What happened next sealed my
fate as sushi geek forever: I reached out and took a piece of
toro from the plate I was sharing with JB, and bore it to my
mouth - but halfway there the chopsticks slipped. The tuna plummeted
directly into my beer, landing with a plorp and sinking festively
to the bottom of the glass. I had dropped sushi in my beer.
Who does that?
Not a Couple Nemesis, that's
is so awesome for posting this link. My god, I watched it like 7 times at
work yesterday, sniggering until I got a cramp. Check it out
- tell me your favorite part. I'm partial to the scene with the
cat sliding off the table and taking the toaster with it.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004