04.06.2003 - 2:01 p.m.
I was thinking that the whole
Daylight Savings thing was happening tonight, or in the wee hours
of tomorrow technically, but no, it was today, and I realized
this around 11:30 so turned the clocks forward to 12:30 and just
like that! It was lunchtime! What a great system!
I did briefly bemoan the loss
of an entire hour from my precious day, but upon further reflection
realized day has been spent, so far, 1) applying Crest WhiteStrips
and baring cellophane-covered teeth at self in mirror, 2) vacuuming
giant tufts of fur from carpet, 3) eyeing cat barf stain with
disgust but not actually cleaning it, and 4) plucking eyebrows.
Yesterday was a bit more fast-paced;
JB and I went to Costco. Costco is the most entertaining place
on earth, I swear to god. First of all, there's free food everywhere
- tons of little sample stations manned by perky robots who probably
start out their day with several stiff belts of whiskey in order
to endure 8 hours of smiling at people who are endlessly ramming
paper cups full of cookies/pizza/cinnamon bread into their open
The best are the comically
huge packages of household products - the vat of mayonnaise with,
possibly, Jimmy Hoffa hidden inside, the container of frozen
burritos that must be lifted with a crane, the mason jar full
of nutmeg, etc. And seriously, when you're standing around sort
of pointing and laughing and wondering who the shit needs
enough Crisco to slather every guest at the Playboy Mansion,
sure enough, someone will trundle by hauling their jumbo Crisco
can along with a dolly.
We went there specifically
to buy a phone card, but we ended up with a tub of ibuprofen,
the aforementioned WhiteStrips, and a package of AA batteries
as long as your arm. Oh, and a $15 incredibly loud hawaiian shirt
for JB, because we ARE going on a cruise soon and certainly we
want to be the pinnacle of fashion whilst sailing.
I also spent a good part of
my day yesterday on the phone with Ticketmaster. What a major
pain in the ass. I bought these tickets online, and there was
problem with my billing address, and my bank had some outdated
information, and yadda yadda yadda I was on hold for like twelve
Even though I was getting steadily
more and more pissed off, I doodled, among other things, this
cheery little guy:
Is it a robot? An alien? Are
those nostrils, or, like, what the fuck? No one knows.
Anyhoo, the tickets I bought
were for "the ultimate wine and food event", which
we are heading to this evening. Wine! And food! Daruma-san
would not approve, but just for tonight - fuck that little sanctimonious
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004