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04.06.2003 - 2:01 p.m.


I was thinking that the whole Daylight Savings thing was happening tonight, or in the wee hours of tomorrow technically, but no, it was today, and I realized this around 11:30 so turned the clocks forward to 12:30 and just like that! It was lunchtime! What a great system!

I did briefly bemoan the loss of an entire hour from my precious day, but upon further reflection realized day has been spent, so far, 1) applying Crest WhiteStrips and baring cellophane-covered teeth at self in mirror, 2) vacuuming giant tufts of fur from carpet, 3) eyeing cat barf stain with disgust but not actually cleaning it, and 4) plucking eyebrows.

Yesterday was a bit more fast-paced; JB and I went to Costco. Costco is the most entertaining place on earth, I swear to god. First of all, there's free food everywhere - tons of little sample stations manned by perky robots who probably start out their day with several stiff belts of whiskey in order to endure 8 hours of smiling at people who are endlessly ramming paper cups full of cookies/pizza/cinnamon bread into their open maws.

The best are the comically huge packages of household products - the vat of mayonnaise with, possibly, Jimmy Hoffa hidden inside, the container of frozen burritos that must be lifted with a crane, the mason jar full of nutmeg, etc. And seriously, when you're standing around sort of pointing and laughing and wondering who the shit needs enough Crisco to slather every guest at the Playboy Mansion, sure enough, someone will trundle by hauling their jumbo Crisco can along with a dolly.

We went there specifically to buy a phone card, but we ended up with a tub of ibuprofen, the aforementioned WhiteStrips, and a package of AA batteries as long as your arm. Oh, and a $15 incredibly loud hawaiian shirt for JB, because we ARE going on a cruise soon and certainly we want to be the pinnacle of fashion whilst sailing.

I also spent a good part of my day yesterday on the phone with Ticketmaster. What a major pain in the ass. I bought these tickets online, and there was problem with my billing address, and my bank had some outdated information, and yadda yadda yadda I was on hold for like twelve hours.

Even though I was getting steadily more and more pissed off, I doodled, among other things, this cheery little guy:

Is it a robot? An alien? Are those nostrils, or, like, what the fuck? No one knows.

Anyhoo, the tickets I bought were for "the ultimate wine and food event", which we are heading to this evening. Wine! And food! Daruma-san would not approve, but just for tonight - fuck that little sanctimonious bastard.

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0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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