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02.04.2003 - 9:32 p.m.


Hello, I am Daruma-san! I live on Sundry's desk where she can see me all the time, and I say things like "Hello fatass! Please to put the fucking cashew nut down, now!"

Sometimes she whine, "Shut UP, Daruma-san! I like cashew nuts!" Then I say "Why don't you call someone who actually care what you like, Sundry?"
And I get out a phone and pretend like I call someone. I think that so totally a burn, don't you?

When I want make Sundry mad, I say "Have a banana! See, it look like a big happy yellow smile! It smiling at YOU!" And she say - well, Daruma-san does not like to repeat.

This Aragorn. He live in the corner of Sundry's office. He spend his time "protecting Sundry from orks" which frankly Daruma-san find quite amusing. Sundry like to look at him and sigh a lot. I tell her, "You never catch Aragorn eye with big fat giant ass like that!" Then I pretend to call Aragorn on the phone. I say, "Aragorn says yes he agrees, you have fat ass. I am so sorry."

You may think Daruma-san is too hard on Sundry, but helping someone fulfill goal very hard work. If Daruma-san does not watch, Sundry cram cashew nuts in mouth. She also eat vanilla latte. Plus she sit at desk all day which give her big giant ass!

Daruma-san not alone in ass-shrink effort. Nike bag says can help too. Sundry moan and whimper about Nike bag but I tell her shut up. Then I pretend to call her ass. "Hello," I say, "You so fat you beep when back up."

Ha ha, Daruma-san is so funny.

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