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07.09.2002 - 9:22 p.m.


Don't you just hate that first day of work after being on vacation? I
especially hate being away from email for days on end, so that when you
finally check it there are 943 unread messages - 528 of them being one
long-ass thread, like:

Msg: A!
Msg: re: A!
Msg: re: re: re: re: re: A!
Msg: B A
Msg: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: B!
Msg: ...C?
Msg: C! C! C!

So, I'm back from rafting the Rogue river. I missed you, did you miss me? It was a great time, thanks.

On the way there we stayed in Grant's Pass at a dreary little pit, which
in order not to slander its corporate brand I will simply refer to as
Flotel Shnix. Except really it was a Super 8. The only fun part of staying there was finding this little


Our rafting group consisted of JB and myself, his folks, his brother,
and 10 other assorted people. We used a guide service, which was really
nice - they did all the food and packed most of the gear, including a
portable potty (ick).

The weather was fantastic, just as hot and sunny as you could want and
then some. Rosacea and skin cancer be damned, I decided, and let myself
roast to a crisp. Of course, now I have weird-ass tan lines everywhere,
such as the mega attractive Shorts Marks.

Nobody fell out of their boat, although I managed to sustain the only
injury. JB and I shared a cataraft the whole time, and at one point we
got caught in a weird whoosh of water rushing back from a rock. The raft
lurched violently forward (JB shouted "Don't fall out!", which I thought
was quite helpful as to determine what course of action I should take, ahem) and I
scrabbled to hold on, then the raft lurched backwards. Trapping my right
ring finger between the wood seat and the metal frame and delivering
what I can only assume was the equivalent of slamming it between
approximately a billion car doors.

Friends, this was, and I am not exaggerating in any way whatsover,
*extremely* uncomfortable. I sorrowfully trailed my squashed finger in
the cool water for the rest of the day, making little whimpering sounds.
JB's brother Joe told me that he heard it would help if I peed on it
(wha?). Several people said "Oooh. I bet you lose the nail." Several
MORE people told me to drill a little hole in the nail to drain it.
Gosh, folks can be helpful. (The damn thing still hurts, too. I can't
type with it, which forces a weird hunt-and-peck sort of deal with my
right hand. Yeah, it's tragic.)

We passed through some really beautiful scenery. High, narrow canyons,
huge rocky outcroppings, thick forests. I saw an otter, lots of deer,
and ospreys. So nice.

We spent 3 days on the water, and 2 more days camping nearby. Then JB
and I headed to his family's cabin on the Umpqua river where he had
invited some old college buddies to come by for a visit. College
buddies. And their wives. Oh, two of whom happen to be sisters. And oh, by
the way, all three couples each have a baby boy around 12 months old.
Did I stick out like a sore ring finger? You bet your
28-year-old-barren-wasteland-of-a-uterus ASS I did.

Them (in unison): "Babycheeriosgrowthchartsleepingschedulewalkingfrontteeth!"
Me: "Uh...anyone want a beer?"

JB and I defintely plan on having kids. You know, in a few years. I want
just a little bit more time to live as Sundry, Personality Of One.
Before I get to the stage where I'm marvelling over Junior's profound
ability to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide ("ooh, you can tell he's
going to be a football player"), and all that.

Anyway. Hope you had a good week.

go back ::: forward

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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