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06.02.2002 - 5:26 p.m.


Part of my weekend was spent torturing an innocent animal.

No, I didn't do volunteer work for L'Oreal wiping LongLustyLash mascara into the moist tear-filled eyes of fluffy white bunnies, but I did take my cat to the vet for a bunch of vaccinations. She took it surprisingly well, but lapsed into a major self pity party when we got home. If she were a person, she would be lying in bed demanding cherry bonbons and a cashmere-covered hot water bottle and threatening to call a lawyer for pain and suffering.

Our new vet is a kind, cherub-faced man with a really thick asian accent. "Yah," he said after weighing her, "she a little ovaweight. Big belly. Try low calorie food?" I hung my head in guilty shame, and agreed to purchase an insanely overpriced bag of 'vet recommended' diet cat food.

I came home, thunked the cat carrier on the floor, and said to JB: "Diagnosis - FAT!!"

JB's response: "So exactly how much did that cat food cost? Jesus."

Our real activity for the last couple days has been spending money. Briskly and efficiently. Shower curtain, shower curtain rod, wastebasket, duvet cover, shelves, broom, plants, potting soil, fish for the fish tank, porcelain chip cover-upper, a freakin lawnmower…the list goes on, sadly. These are the things you don't consider when you tally up what you THINK are the final closing costs on your new home.



Should I cut my bangs? Like into a bob? I spent all this time growing them out and now they just hang there all limp and get shoved behind my ears and it mostly looks like shit but what if I cut my hair and all of a sudden it looks even WORSE?


Since we moved, I have become Extremely Anal. JB is hating my guts lately, because I suddenly cannot deal with anything that veers into the dreaded realm of clutter.

Me: "So…um…are you done with this?"
JB: "What - you mean the mail? No, I'm still going through it."
Me: "Um. It's just that it's all like garbagey looking."
JB: (heating up) "It's MAIL. I'm LOOKING. AT. IT."
Me: (apologetic) "Ok!"

- Brief pause -

Me: (unable to help self) "So! Are you done with it now?"

I figure this is a stage that will pass, and I will once again be able to relax amongst our typical assortment of odds and ends. Until then, I'm sort of enjoying this bizarre streak of character. Anal Sundry seems the type that might wield a leather whip in her offtime, or something.

go back ::: forward

05.29.2002 - "We obviously have a portal to Hell where horrible horrible creatures can crawl into our house."
05.25.2002 - We are going to rush right over and just sort of walk around and touch things and whisper "ours".
05.22.2002 - I'm sure there are some wild parties and sexy escrow conventions you go to and stuff.

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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