04.25.2002 - 7:46 p.m.
My my, how the days seem to fly by lately. Especially when you're
doing insanely productive stuff like searching for an icon to
represent your last name. That's what I spent a shameful amount
of time this morning doing.
See, in our office email
system, you can drop a little .tiff file into the network and
it will show up in your messages. Everyone has got one that either
cleverly represents their name, or is just indicative of their
personality somehow. I wanted to be cool too, so I started trying
to find a little graphical sundry icon. It was hard, folks. I
ended up with a design that features a razor blade - which sounds
profoundly lame, I know. It has something to do with my last
name, though. Really.
But NORMALLY I'm all slaving
away. Getting jiggy with it, marketingwise. Although sometimes
I slide into this weird chasing-my-tail state where I think of
something I need to research online so I launch a browser and
start looking and then I think of something else I should look
for and I type in a different thing and then I get all annoyed
with the display and start frigging with the preferences and
then oh shit it's noon already.
So far, my favorite office
characters are the Engineer Goby fish. There's two of these guys, on
either side of the big saltwater aquarium in the 'lobby' area.
The gobies spend their time peeping out from the coral, and act
startled if you stop in front of the tank. They have what I interpret
as comically paranoid expressions, as if they are always being
caught doing something they shouldn't, like rooting in their
noses or something. ("Whoah! Uhhhh....I was just scratching
my nose", the goby would say, if it could talk. )
There are other fun things
in the tank, too, like the Giant Turd. It's supposed to be a
sea slug or something, but I'm telling you - TURD. Big yucky
turd with weird feeler thingies.
I told you that there are
two office cats, right? If those cats had half the personality
of my own Evil Sumo Cat, there would be hijinks galore. But unfortunately,
they do not. One is rarely seen because she hangs out in her
owner's office preening and boning up on her shedding skills.
She's the equivalent of a vacant trophy wife - lovely but brainless.
The other one only occasionally comes by, but she's such a big
chicken if you even breath too loud she takes off running. She
also has a horribly whiny meow - like eeeewwwwwwwwooOOOOWWWWW?
- that makes you want to huck a stapler at her or something.
Not that I would. I'm just
saying, the cats are boring. Even the Giant Turd is cooler.
So every day, I've been
lugging a bag to and from work that contains shorts, a tshirt,
sweatshirt, running shoes, deodorant, and hairbrush. I have this
intent, on a daily basis, of getting some exercise on the famous
trail, which is right next to the office. And every day,
I don't do it. I get bogged with work, or it looks too rainy
out, or somefreakinthing. So not only are the cats lame, but
I am also, in addition to them, LAME.
Not only am I lame for
not Just Doing It, but the other day as I was getting ready for
work I realized I had left the bag - with hairbrush and deodorant
- in my car. Which was parked 19 blocks away, as usual. I had
to use the cat comb (yeah, I washed it) to dry my hair, which
freaked out so completely I had the Worst Hair Day Ever. Plus
I had to use JB's deodorant, which was just...wrong, somehow.
It smelled weird and clashed heavily with my girly Opium stankum.
And that's what's been
going on at work - goby-staring and jogging-avoiding. Here's
the real news: we officially got the house. Officially in the
sense that we the buyers and They the sellers have agreed on
everything. They have agreed to pay up for the new roof, and
that's all that we were waiting on. So. DAMN!!! We move in one
month! Whoo hoo!
04.21.2002 - 6
Things That Have Nothing To Do With Anything
04.20.2002 - Sea
slug? Pork chop? Giant hand giving the finger?
04.17.2002 - I'm
all wound up like Denis Leary.
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004