2002-03-05 - 10:41 a.m.
So. My goal is to hit the gym vigorously at night while JB is
gone, to help pass the time. Not because I need it. After all,
my belly is mistaken for Janet Jackson's all the time. Heh. What
I should really do, according to this month's Cosmo, is 'banish
the winter blahs by eliminating carbs and alcohol altogether'.
Whew. Think I wet myself
a little there.
I did go for the low-cal
tuna fish thing yesterday. Then I remembered why it's really
annoying to do that.
me: (opening can and plopping
it into a bowl)
me: It's not for you.
cat: MRRRAP. MRAP.
me: Forget it.
cat: Meh! MEHHH! MIIAWWWWOOOARRR.
me: The hell? Do you need some WD-40?
cat: WAOW! WAOW! WAOW! MRRAAWWWWW!
me: Oh god, just - here, take it.
As part of the New Regime,
I went to yoga class last night. I do this maybe once a month,
so I am not exactly Madonna or whatever. I have undue concern
about what I look like in some of the positions. I especially
hate it when someone walks behind me when the class is doing
Downward Facing Dog and I feel like a baboon in full estrus,
temptingly poking my butt up in the air. And the ones where you
have to balance on one foot - I'm always the dork wildly pinwheeling
their arms and weaving like a sorority girl at Mardis Gras.
Also, can I just say…sports
bras = evil. I've been on a quest to find the perfect sports
bra, one that nails my hooters firmly in place yet does not result
in Uniboob. They must be buried in a vault thousands of miles
below the earth's crust, along with jeans that actually fit.
Got some digital
pix from JB. Here is Singapore:
And a Very Dire
I got a message on my machine
this AM from JB's brother Joe. He said, "Just wanted to
let you know there's a really good Martha Stewart Living on right
now. See ya." I think this is friggin hilarious. Joe is
an avid outdoorsman, hunter, gun enthusiast, and all around 100%
Guy. But for some reason, he loves him some Martha Stewart.
I think the Martha thing
stems from his neat-freakedness. Joe is 23 or something, he should
be living in his own filth like most guys - but everything in
his apartment is always pathologically spotless. Probably because
he's been working as a mortician for several years. I guess when
you spend your nights around a lot of dead bodies you probably
want your place to be germ-free.
We have a picture of Joe
waving at the camera, wearing scrubs. The caption says "I
put the FUN in FUNERAL." Then you notice…that's not
2002-03-04 - By
nothing more than a new moment, different from the last.
2002-03-01 - "Yoop.
Yoop. Yoop. Blargh."
2002-02-28 - Are
they going to insert a toilet snake down my throat or something?
ARTIFACT: Saw Wendigo yesterday afternoon. I'm
a beeg horror movie fan, and I thought this one was pretty good.
Cool camera effects. The Sundry Peanut Gallery criticism? Shouldn't
have shown the monster. Go watch it, you'll see what I mean.
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004