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2002-02-14 -

I have seen no other
who compares with you
you belong among the wildflowers
you belong in a boat out at sea
you belong with your love on your arm
you belong somewhere you feel free
you deserve the deepest of cover
you belong in that home by and by
you belong among the wildflowers
you belong somewhere close to me
far away from your trouble and worry
you belong somewhere you feel free
-Tom Petty

It's Valentine's Day, yep. And in honor of the specialness that is coupledom, I am offering you:

The Sundry Lexicon of Retard-O Words

The following are terms used by JB and I:

C'mere Darlin, and Barnacle
Sleeping positions. Barnacle is like spooning, and C'mere Darlin is guy-on-back, girl-curled-against-chest. C'mere Darlin can also involve Seatbelt, an arm-thrown-over-side-thing.

Dishpan Diarrhea
This originated with my grandmother, actually. It's for when someone disappears into the bathroom when the dishes need to be done. There is also Grocery Put-Away Diarrhea. (Note that if the actual term 'diarrhea' needs to be referenced, the elegant and mature Soupy Poopies is substituted).

Dorko, Dorkpot, Dorkorama, Dorkomundo, Dorkonotron, King/Queen of Dorkania, Sir Dorks-a-lot
Self-explanatory. Also, "Dorky", used in the song "Flipper" (They call her Dorky! Dorky! Faster than liiiiightning..)

Expressed as a form of disappointment. "You won't make more brownies? Hurrrrrts."

Oooh is a loud groaning sound used for multiple things. Complaining: "Oooooh, when are the brownies going to be ready?" Joy: "Oooh, brownies. Ooooh, oooh." Sorrow: "No more brownies? Ooohhh."

Shit(s) The Bed
That sucks. "That show "The Chamber" really shits the bed." "Did you see that speed skater totally shit the bed?" A JB-uncleism, this is our favorite blanket term for suckage.

Slut can have several different meanings - comfort, happiness, laziness - often in reference to the cat. And yes, I suppose it's not a very nice word to bandy about. Action usage: "Slut the cat, she wants attention." Descriptor: "I feel sooo slutty in this robe," or, "This mussel dish is SO slutting good." Noun: "You dirty slut, cat. Look at what a slut you are, you haven't moved all day."

Bitching: "So then I snagged the guy about the paper being late." Noun: "You are such a snag in the morning." Exclamation: "Snag! The internet connection was broken." Most popular use in a song: "Cat Snag Fever".

Witch Nose
Cold nose - always mine. Usually pressed against JB in the middle of the night. Also, Witch Feet, and occasionally Witch Everything, or "MAN, what's your deal, are you a zombie or something?!"

go back ::: forward

Did you want to read about:

2002-02-13 - heart-shaped abashment
2002-02-12 - freaky tea, hiking
2002-02-11 - Mondays, library fees

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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