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And then I was all...

04.30.2002 - There's a reason why my lungs have collapsed and I am jamming a Bic pen into my trachea to get more air.
04.28.2002 - Are Swedish people just naturally tidier and more efficient and tending towards metal accents and birch countertops?
04.26.2002 - The new house, as represented by little graphical doohickeys.
04.25.2002 - There are other fun things in the tank, too, like the Giant Turd.
04.21.2002 - 6 Things That Have Nothing To Do With Anything
04.20.2002 - Sea slug? Pork chop? Giant hand giving the finger?
4/17/02 - I'm all wound up like Denis Leary.
04.14.2002 - So a futile morning spent looking for a Sofa That Doesn't Suck, an object seeming more and more elusive, much like the Perfect Pair of Jeans and the Non UniBoob Sports Bra.
04.13.2002 - No quarters? No fucking problemo.
04.12.2002 - My theme song, lately, would be more like that cartoon scrambling-running sound they always made on The Flintstones.
04.10.2002 - Nothing says low-stress like offering total strangers an obscene lump of cash for a house that may or may not be infested by killer bees.
04.06.2002 - Will a slow song ever fill me with that mix of terror and fervent hope again?
04.05.2002 - I'm already starting to worry about the potential size of my ass.
04.04.2002 - They need a marketing ninja to come in and kick major ninja ass, and friends - I am that ninja.
04.03.2002 - So, a week of instability, outlook-on-life-wise, plus the added fun of a poor body image. Yay for hormones!
04.02.2002 - You know very well the lobster would have to pork the tiger, not the other way around.
03.29.2002 - Let's all just take a moment and wallow in jealous hatred.
03.27.2002 - It was all very Punk and Totally Rebellious. Except that it sucked
03.26.2002 - The thing about eating no carbs is that every trip to the kitchen is a mini tragedy.
03.25.2002 - I'll say this for the whole egg-dyeing orgy, though.
03.22.2002 - Lo, the suckage hath been great.
03.21.2002 - You struggle to arrange the fabric over yourself so as to retain a semblance of dignity, but it is useless.
03.20.2002 - When the hell would I need to back up like this anyway? Like if a fucking rhino was charging my car?
03.19.2002 - The only way I could have injured a potential attacker is if they got hernias from laughing at me.
03.18.2002 - The yard, the creek! The pretty stained pine on the inside!
03.14.2002 - Someone's gotta be bikini-waxing the hell out of those chicks, too.
03.13.2002 - But today I must get to Lascha's house, 2,000 light years away.
03.12.2002 - maybe it's because I had to go to the eleventh circle of HELL this afternoon.
03.11.2002 - Anything that makes your butt muscles hurt that much has got to be good for you, right?
03.10.2002 - I sliced its pallid dead zombie flesh and totally kicked it up a notch in the frying pan. BAM!
03.08.2002 - This entry is currently struggling into a petticoat, okay?
03.07.2002 - I remember thinking, I didn't have enough time.
03.06.2002 - It's like diarrhea…or maybe it's like something less disgusting than that
2002-03-05 - I'm always the dork wildly pinwheeling their arms and weaving like a sorority girl at Mardis Gras.
2002-03-04 - By nothing more than a new moment, different from the last.
2002-03-01 - "Yoop. Yoop. Yoop. Blargh."


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