And then I was all...
04.29.2004 - Hourglass 04.28.2004 - You know how some music, or sounds, are so deliciously good they give you shivery goosebumps? 04.27.2004 - I may occasionally lapse into long mouthbreathing comas where I ponder the outcome of this season's Survivor - but by god, I am a student of life. 04.25.2004 - If you're retarded and you know it, and the dead-white-cat-hat clearly shows it, if you're retarded and you know it, clap your hands! 04.22.2004 - It is, supposedly, my freaking FORTE to package up dubious end products and present them to the public, smelling of roses and glittering with bows. 04.21.2004 - I used to think, as a kid, how very glad I would be to grow up and never have to feel in trouble again. 04.20.2004 - The word "panty" has a line of drool hanging from its lower lip. 04.18.2004 - Someone trepanned him and wedged a rolled-up Home Depot flyer in the hole. 04.17.2004 - �What?� he says. �I�m sorry, I couldn�t underTHTAND you. Could you WEPEAT that?� 04.16.2004 - WHO MISSES THEIR MOUTH WITH A TOOTHBRUSH? 04.15.2004 - Unpredictability is interesting to me, and believe me, I'm typically about as predictable as you get. 04.13.2004 - The passage of time, how deceitful and toying it is. 04.12.2004 - It's a CHICK with a...GIANT ARMPIT. 04.11.2004 - Just a scurvy-ridden, sarong-wearing, sweaty-breasted hellbound recluse, with too much spray on shiner in my hair. 04.09.2004 - . I checked out that journal of yours, and you�re no great shakes yourself. 04.08.2004 - Try doing crunches with a moist snout pressed in your ear. 04.06.2004 - THE REMINGTON SUPERSONIC, THE NEXT GENERATION DRYER!!! 04.03.2004 - Slide show time! 04.02.2004 - It was a wonderful trip. 03.25.2004 - See, I told you I can't write about anything serious without sounding like a cliche. 03.23.2004 - Here is some advice: when you wake up at 3:45 AM, the first thing you must do is NOT think of zombies. 03.21.2004 - (Dishwasher. Dishwasher. Breathe.) 03.20.2004 - ENOUGH OF THE STICK AND THE ASS. 03.17.2004 - "Heh. Cool. Nail gun." 03.13.2004 - Ask yourself, what do you DO NOW? 03.12.2004 - No, you have to stop and just kind of chill out while your body does that decompression stuff, or else you explode like a poodle in a microwave. 03.11.2004 - I cannot begin to describe how deeply, profoundly, pants-shittingly funny Dog's reaction was. 03.09.2004 - Have the Sims stolen my ability to accurately observe the passing of time? 03.08.2004 - Creating characters patterned after your own household is not just creepy and nerdy and lame, it's ALSO strangely engrossing! 03.04.2004 - (FYI: As much as I would like to say it is pronounced "fuckit", as in "fuckit, I'ma have a beer before noon", it's "pooh-ket"). 03.02.2004 - Well, and also because Dog has styrofoam packing material for brains and would probably merrily trot out in front of a speeding semi.
2004:
January/February
March/April
May/June
July/August
September/October
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2003:
January/February
March/April
May/June July/August
September/October November/December
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2002:
January/February
March/April
May/June
July/August
September/October
November/December
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