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09.20.2004 - 5:39 p.m.

Monday

JB and I went to Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Friday night (come for the pretty soft focus and robots, stay for the priceless last two words of dialogue) and when we left the theater the skies had tipped over, spilling and pouring and cold, and I waited by the sidewalk hugging my arms and dancing until JB pulled up - my chariot! The BAMT! - and I scrambled in and turned up the heater to eleven and we drove home fast fast fast through deep deep puddles and it was dark as hell at 8 PM and it's official, summer is gone!

With our weekend plans (going to the Fair, because I love the draft horses so very much, also: rabbits!) shot because of the crappy weather, JB and I decided to embark on a crack-fueled shopping spree, which all started because we decided our office needed some shelves.

Me: "Man, our office needs some shelves."
JB: "I concur."

So we went out looking for shelves, and came back with:

- 4 wooden shelf units
- 1 sheet, pillowcase, and duvet cover set
- 5 photo frames
- 1 table lamp with beaded fringe
- 7 pillar candles
- 3 flats of bedding plants
- 15 assorted pieces of fake fruit (ZERO POINTS)

Because as long as we're putting up new shelves, we may as well hang some photos, light some candles, plant some chrysanthemums, and change our linens! Also, the fruit? I do not know.

We took a break from our feverish shelf assembly activities on Saturday and went to the gym, which was cavernously empty, because doy, who the hell works out on a weekend? Since no one was around to laugh at me, I tried some of the weird-ass machines that I've never been able to figure out before, like the oblique twister deal where you sit and reef your torso left and right, and the Dude, Where's My Speculum? Chair where you clamp, clamp, clamp your inner thighs away. Oh, and I spent a godawful 5 minutes on this…thing, a cardio leg workout contraption where you lean against a backrest like you're going to ride the Gravitron, then you pump madly away at its attached foot pedals, the goal being to keep a weight plate elevated by your movements. At first it doesn't seem hard at all, and then all of a sudden your heart implodes and crumbles like a Vegas casino. Whee! Feel the burn!

(The gym visit left me feeling both virtuous and bandy-legged, and I decided to reward myself with a nice bowl of pistachio pudding later in the evening. Sadly, I have now discovered one of life's great truths: sugar-free, fat-free Jello pudding tastes like baboon ass. Carcinogenic baboon ass.)

The rest of our weekend was spend puttering around, arranging our frames and lamp and fruit and whatnot. I guess the house looks better now, especially if you define the attractiveness of our interior décor by the number of fake pomegranates we own. Come visit! I will feed you plaster food.



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26 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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