05.06.2004 - 8:38 a.m.
(Warning: there's a jillion
photos in this entry. Apologies if you're on dialup.)
I notified my office I would
be out on Wednesday, May 5, so that JB and I could spend the
day together. It's our 3-year wedding anniversary, you see. And
my coworker sent me an iChat:
<You got married on Cinco
Well, duh. Thousands
of happy Mexicans - and many US frat boys - get super loaded
every year on our anniversary. ROCK.
JB told me to take the day
off, that he had something planned. Nothing extravagant, just
a fun day. We had already sort of tagged our Thailand trip as
a substitute for the annual cruise I wanted to happen in May.
(What? I fucking love cruises,
okay? Maybe I've got the soul of a shuffleboard-playing, napkin-folding-class-taking
ancient fart. DO NOT JUDGE ME.)
Where are we going, I asked
him. About five hundred jillion times. Where? Where? Do I have
to wear sensible shoes? Are we traveling to space? Can we bring
Dog? Will it be vanilla-scented? WHERE WHERE WHERE?
Finally he started giving me
clues. Are we going east, or west? West, he said. Will it be
outdoors? Yes, he said. Is it urban, or not? Surprisingly so,
As hopeful as a child on Christmas
eve, I leaned forward. Will there be
animals, I asked. DAMMIT,
he cried. You are some sort of VOODOO PRIESTESS.
Hooray! The zoo, the zoo, the
zoo! I LOVE the zoo! Especially our Woodland Park zoo, with all
of its wonderful exhibits and its please-god-I-hope-so content
We saw poison dart frogs, which
I fiercely love with every molecule in my body. Komodo dragons,
because ever since I read in Playboy that Billy Bob Thorton is
terrified of them ("And not 'cause my uncle fucked me in
the ass when I was a kid or nothin'. Them things is just scary."),
they never fail to crack me up. The nocturnal exhibit, with its
glitter-eyed dangling Draculas. The otters, oh, the otters!
We tooled through the zoo for
most of the day, then on my request went to the dog park, because
hello? What is even better than the zoo? The dog park, my friends.
At one point in the day, JB
asked what we should name our boat. Note that we do not actually
have a boat, but JB likes to plan ahead.
JB: "So? Any ideas? I
was thinking something, you know, bad ass. Like the Enforcer,
but less gay."
Me: "How about the Dirty
JB: "Um. No."
Me: "You could paint a
little moustache on the front of the boat and everything!"
Me: "Fine. Hmmm
JB: "Just stop. Nevermind."
Me: "The Hershey Highway!"
JB: "What is WRONG with
Me: "No, I have it. Let's
call it Wooooord."
JB: "I have the terrible
feeling you are being serious."
Me: "Like with a bunch
of O's. 'Hey, you want to go out on the Woooord today?'"
JB: "Please, please just
These have been three LONG
years for JB, I think.
We rounded out the day by having
a wonderful dinner across the lake on Leschi. I had a thought
- that there is something spectacularly unsexy about vigilant
food denial. Admittedly, I definitely could be in better shape
because I can pinch, let's just say, more than an inch, but when
I go to a fabulous restaurant for a special occasion? Please.
I do not order a fucking salad. I have the oysters. I savor the
juniper bite of an enormous gin and tonic. I relish the mustard-seared
ahi. And you better believe I take great pleasure in cracking
into the burnt sugar crust on the crème brulee. Life is
too short for sparkling water and iceberg lettuce, dammit!
Afterwards, we walked on the beach for a bit, then drove home
while I snapped blurry photos of random things.
It was a perfect day. Perfect.
last ::: next
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004