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03.02.2004 - 7:15 p.m.

Tuesday

I spent a largish amount of time this past weekend walking outside, since it was fairly sunny and not too cold. A nice thing about Bellevue is that the city planners worked in a really great trail system; it links together several parks while meandering through greenbelts and wetlands, past ponds and through forested areas. JB and I walked and walked with Dog, soaking up the balmy weather, bullshitting about everything and nothing. Good times.

But! People of the greater Seattle area! Leash your damn dogs!

Listen, I empathize with your desire to let Bitsy Pookums run free, free like the wind. I grok with fullness how awesome it is for your dog to taste the unfettered life, to shed the tethers of domesticity if for only a few brief hours of sweet freedom. When we take Dog to, ahem, the OFF LEASH DOG PARK, she goes berserk with joy and races around like a spring colt; I'd love to let her do that all the time.

The reasons I keep Dog on a leash in the non-dog-park areas are 1) not everyone likes dogs (inconceivable, but I must acknowledge these piteous folk), 2) it's the fucking law.

Well, and also because Dog has styrofoam packing material for brains and would probably merrily trot out in front of a speeding semi.

The really annoying thing is that Dog is not exactly super friendly with other dogs, which seems to work out okay in the dog park (she gets sniffed, she ignores the dog, they go their separate ways), but is problematic when she's on a leash. The sniff litmus goes to hell when a non-leashed mutt starts crawling all over Dog; if she decides she's not happy having a snout rammed up her bung she gets aggressive and snarls. Then I'm tied to a snarly dog, trying to untangle the other dog, and apologizing to its stupid-ass owner, who's yelling "Bitsy! Come! BITSY! HERE!" while their dog blatantly ignores them.

I feel the same irritation towards dog owners who actively encourage their leashed dog to "meet" Dog. Smiling indulgently like they're introducing two small children, they guide Fido in close to Dog, who rolls her eyes and says "as IF". (In body language, okay? Work with me heah.) Then I have to explain that Dog is a little bit of a territorial asswipe, and sorry about that snarl-spittle on your dog, and maybe you ought to get your dog out of my dog's GRILL before the aggro HUMPING starts.

Either train your dog to obey your every command without question, or leash the fucker. Because my dog will go all Ron Jeremy on your dog's ass.

:::

Log patrol!

 

Craaaaab dog!

 

Squirrel log!

:::

So yesterday I went shopping at Fred Meyer's, and while I was there I picked up two pairs of uber-cheap cute-as-shit flipflops. One has a Hawaiian theme printed on the sole, and the other is white with sparkles. I brought them home and tried them on, admiring their silliness. Then I sadly packed them up and stuffed them in my closet, figuring I'd be getting them back out in July.

Today, JB called me at work. "Do you have a few minutes to go over my March travel itinerary?" he asked. "This one's kind of different." He detailed his plans to fly to China for a business review, then on to Taiwan. I vaguely zoned out, until I heard "...and on the 26th, you'll fly to Narita, then meet me in Bangkok."

I'm going to Thailand, you guys! JB and I are spending a week at Phuket, on Karon Beach.

In 24 days, I'll be wearing the hell out of those damn flipflops. Woo hoo!

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20 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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