02.26.2004 - 4:00 p.m.
I got a really cool combo bean grinder/coffeemaker machine for my birthday. It brews up the best damn coffee in the world, and fills the house with a delicious rich smell that does wonders for prying me out from underneath the covers in the morning.
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Problem is, JB's not around to start the coffee for me. This is something he does in exchange for never having to learn how the dishwasher operates. It seems like a lopsided deal until 7:30 AM, when I would trade my right lung for someone to make coffee.
So this week I've been dragging myself out of bed, stumbling blearily into the kitchen, and attempting to focus on the coffee machine. On autopilot, I put the beans in the hopper at the top, fill the reservoir with water, then change the filter. Then I press the "on" button.
Here is what the coffee machine says: "wwwhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!"
The cat bolts down the hallway, her tail puffed up in clumps.
Sensing excitement in the air, the dog barks.
Outside, a flock of crows scatter from the yard.
As the grinder part finishes and the soothing bu-blurp of the pot filling with coffee begins, I smooth my hair back down and work on pulling my eyeballs back into their sockets.
It's a great deal, actually. Wakes me right the hell up before I even get the caffeine drip started.
I did not think this awful cartoon could get any more obnoxious. But I was OH SO WRONG.
Date: February 24, 2004 3:32:42 PM PST
(writing about a cell phone he bought in China)
The F'd U thing about this phone is that it is SOOOO Asian. Freaky ring tones and background colors. Just turning it on it goes into a little song and dance; turning it off is a similar experience. Seriously there is no normal ring tone. One of the ring tones is actually a girl saying,
"Wei! !" Think she is saying, "Hello!? Your phone is ringing!, Hello!? Your phone is ringing! Hello!? Your phone is ringing..."
A few days ago, a handwritten sign appeared on Workplace's fridge:
DISNEY BUYS MUPPETS.
"END TIMES NIGH", SAYS VATICAN.
I finally bitchslapped my computer around enough that it is obediently downloading and transferring songs, and now? I might need an iTunes iNtervention.
Seriously, it is just way too easy to randomly think of a song ("Hmm, what's that 'I think it's kinda funny, I think it's kinda sad..' song? Oh yeah, 'Mad World'!"), decide I want it ("It's only 99 cents! *I* have 99 cents!"), then trundle off the computer where mere moments later I'm regretting my decision ("Live version? Dammit.")
When I actively try and think of music I want to acquire, I'm hit with Way Too Many Options Syndrome, where my brain cannot think of anything produced since, like, 1989. The sole exception in my playlist so far is Kylie Minogue's "Slow", because apparently I'm a sucker for that stupid breathy little aaoohhh sound she makes.
The last few nights, I've been listening to music on my all-nostalgia-all-the-time iPod in bed before falling asleep. I lie there encased in a little wistful world of REM and Bauhaus and Erasure, and I wave my hand around limply, like I'm directing an apathetic orchestra. Since JB's away, Dog gets bed privileges, so she curls up nearby and puts her paw on me until I grab it. Then I drift away, holding paws with Dog and humming "Bela Lugosi's Dead". It's the best thing EVER.
Speaking of Dog, I already gushed to the notify about Dogster, but hee. Oh ho ho. Check out Dog's friend Boo. Ha! I heart Dogster.