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01.29.2004 - 4:04 p.m.

Thursday

…I began to forget when it hadn’t been raining and became as one with all the characters in all of the novels about rainy seasons, who rush around banging their heads against the walls, drinking water glasses of straight whiskey and moaning, "The rain! The rain! My God, the rain!" - The Egg and I

I brought Dog to work today because my backyard is flooding alarmingly and I have Learned My Damn Lesson about leaving a lab anywhere near a puddle for an extended amount of time. The last time it happened, I ended up heaving a mud-caked and reluctant Dog into the tub for an all-over shampoo, and let me tell you, wet dog smell + Organical Botanical Apple Essence = bleccccch.

I practically had to set up a caffeine IV drip to get moving and out of the house this morning. The greyness, the chill, and the torrential outpouring from the heavens made it a dreary affair to leave my downy warm bed, where I had been dreaming about attending a wedding where instead of a typical wedding party, brightly adorned circus performers gamboled down the aisle before the bride (which was pretty cool, actually, so take that as a Planning Tip, should you be in the market). I couldn't deal with my typical showering-blowdrying-flatironing routine so my unwashed hair is in pigtails, which, combined with my sweatshirt and jeans ensemble, really makes me quite the nicely groomed marketing professional this afternoon. Go me!

Pigtail anomalies aside, it typically takes me about an hour to get through my morning ablutions.

Then:
Wash face with soap. Comb hair. Go.

Now:
Wash face with special oil-controlling face wash. Moisturize with therapeutic moisturizer. Blow dry hair in sections with round brush. Spritz with hair gloss, flatiron hair in sections. Hairspray (just a touch!). Apply clear makeup skin stuff. Curl eyelashes. Apply SPF foundation, eyebrow pigmentation, cheek tint, lip color, neutral eyeshadow.

For fuck's sake, when did I get so high maintenance? It's not even like I look amazing after all that, or anything. But, while we're on the subject, allow me to pimp briefly:

Skin care:
philosophy is the shit. Their stuff completely and totally rules. I started using the One Minute Miracle facial stuff a few weeks ago, and it has totally changed my skin for the better - it's much, much smoother. I use the On a Clear Day cleanser in the mornings. Their Hope in a Jar moisturizer is awesome, not too oily and has the consistency of shaving cream, which is pleasing somehow. Lastly, the 'clear makeup skin perfector', The Present, mattifies your face and evens the tone. Yay, philosophy! Love you. Oh, and their Coconut Cream Pie bubble bath? Delicious.

Makeup:
I was looking and looking and LOOKING for the ultimate red lipstick, and thanks to Peachy's advice, I found it: BeneFit lip color in Saucy. Their BeneTint cheek and lip tint is really good, too.

Random:
Burt's Bees lip balm. It is the best lip balm on EARTH, and I am a total lip goo addict, so listen up, I know what I'm talking about. Buy yourself a case of it and die happy.

Aveda Brilliant spray will make your hair nice and shiny, unless you spray on too much. If you do that, it will make your hair icky and gross.

Body Shop Body Butter. It's so...oooh, it's just so rich and creamy and smells so good and makes your winter elephant hide all soft. Slather it on after you've scrubbed with Cocoa Butter Body Scrub, and you will be absolutely buttery and you will smell lusciously wonderful.

ANYWAY MOVING ON FROM THIS STRANGE DETOUR INTO OVERPRICED PERSONAL CARE PRODUCT PREFERENCE LAND.

I took Dog for a brief walk earlier and not only did I get soaking wet (resulting in that annoying damp-jeans leg itchiness) but she took a Sneaker Dump - a big massive dog poo that I totally did not expect and therefore had no plastic bags or large poo tongs with which I could grasp the turdage and carry it to a less populated area. That's the second time I've left a huge amount of dogshit (well, not *I* as in "I personally") right near the trail where people like to jog, push baby carriages, etc, so I am officially going to a special corner of hell where I will be pelted with dog doots for all eternity, or something.

Aside from the lingering poop-guilt, I've been snickering all day because of a voicemail I listened to this morning. It was someone from Apple, who tried to get ahold of me yesterday afternoon. "Hello Sundry, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Call me back at blah blah blah. Thanks a lot. Bon soir."

Bon soir, from a guy whose name is as irish as they come. I just don't know how to describe how funny it sounded. Who says that?

:::

I have no pithy ending to today's scintillating missive, so instead, on the off chance you live under a rock and haven't seen this 285629 times yet, I offer you the incredibly hilarious End of the World.

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14 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

yay, diaryland