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11.20.2003 - 2:01 p.m.

Thursday

It's grey and dreary and depressing and damp outside my office window, which is actually a nice change from the biblical flooding we've had lately. I mean, I know it's Seattle, and rain is what we do, but it was a nonstop ark-building head-for-high-ground save-the-wee-turtles freaking downpour earlier in the week.

JB, who's been away on business, has missed some of the high points of owning a water-loving Lab during rainy season:

-----Original Message-----
From: Sundry
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2003 11:22 AM
To: JB
Subject:

Woke up to pouring rain. Let cat in, let dog out. Went back to sleep. Woke back up to even more pouring rain. Went to the back door. Found a Brown Dog waiting for me. Dog had dug a hole then played in the muddy water, apparently. Let Brown Dog into carport for triage. Realized enormity of job while hosing Dog off. Wiped Dog with several now-filthy towels. Dog Still Brown. Hustled Dog inside to guest bathroom. Pleaded with Dog to get in tub. Dog refused. Physically hefted Dog into tub. Sprayed Dog with warm water and shampoo. Dog became very sad. Tried to dry Dog but entire bathroom became soaked when Dog shook off.

Eventually forced to take moist apple-shampoo-smelling Dog to office, as other option involved a repeat of the above events once arriving back home after work.

Eagerly awaiting your return.

Also, every goddamn leaf in the entire universe is now in my yard. Every. Leaf.

:::

I'm going to the salon tomorrow and I've decided to do Something Different with my hair color. I've been doing the blonde highlighting thing for years now, and I think it's time for a change. It's not like I have a job where I have to be conservative, either, so it seems like I should take advantage of that fact.

So I'm thinking...red. I've got a picture in my mind of an auburn base with obnoxious bright red and blonde streaks. "Red", they'll call me.

("Hey Red," they'll say, and I'll snarl "Yeah?" while grinding out a cigarette with my snakeskin cowboy boot. Everyone knows redheads are tough.)

I made the mistake of talking with JB about my hair color idea last night. I think there are a few subjects that are entirely unsatisfying to chat about with a heterosexual man, such as menstruation, clothes, and apparently, hair color. Here are the points he made, which caused varying degrees of annoyance:

• "Red? Why red? Red is weird."
• "Why not brown? Go back to your natural hair color like I've been asking you to do forever. Don't you want to make me happy?"
• "You're going to look like someone who's freaked out they're about to turn thirty and they're clinging to their punk rock youth."
• "You're too chicken to do it."

I know why people say you have to work at a marriage. Work at not whamming your spouse over the head with a large brick, that is.

It may turn out that Vanessa, my hairdresser with unusually strong opinions ("No bangs for you!") may simply refuse to color it the way I want. Who knows. Maybe I'll dye it BLUE and really throw JB for a loop. At any rate, Something Different, goddamn it.

:::




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23 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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