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11.13.2003 - 4:38 p.m.

Thursday

You all crack me up, with your 60-pairs-of-underwear-owning, commando-going, bathing-suit-resorting asses. If I'd known panty talk gets you all chatty and shit; hell, I would have brought up the subject a long time ago.

Moving on...to bras. Heh. No. To interviewing. God help me, I have to do about a thousand phone interviews over the next few days. I tried very hard to come up with a list of topics for candidates that don't involve evil crap like "Tell me your biggest weakness" or "Please describe yourself in three words that each start with vowels and rhyme".

I did my first one this afternoon. It was awful. Aw. Ful. The girl was so nervous, she was completely tongue tied. And I'm like empathetic to a fault - for instance, I cannot watch ice skating without tensing into a giant knot because what if they fall, omigod I hope they don't fall - so I felt horrible and uncomfortable and wanted to reach through the phone and swat her over the head and tell her to chill the fuckity fuck OUT.

She was young without much work history so it was almost excusable, except for this final exchange:

Me: "Can you tell me a little about your strengths in working with other people?"
Her: "Ummmmmm. Um. Uh." *giant awkward silence that stretches into infinity* "Wow, I am not talking very well today."
Me (rooting for her): "It's okay, take your time."
Her: "Uhhhhhhhh. I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know."
Me (not so much with the rooting anymore): "That's, um, all right. Sooo...I think we're about done here."

I felt really sorry for the girl, but damn. She also managed to tell me she wasn't very confident in her design skills yet. So not a fact you should share with someone looking to hire a, you know, DESIGNER.

My next interview went about a million times better, although it was a little weird because I was talking to someone with far more years of experience in their field than I have in mine. Who was applying for a job that pays a *very* low hourly wage. (It's actually the first question I have to ask: "This position pays $X per hour. Is that a deal breaker for you?")

The quality of resumes I've received has been pretty staggering, given the part-time, temporary, low-paying status of the job. It's a scary job market out there, people. I hope Nervous Girl improves her communication skills, stat.

:::

My body is falling apart. I knelt earlier today to pet my coworker's dog and my knees made a disturbing twin gunshot crackcrack! sound. Wide-eyed, Molly said "Were those your knees?", and pulled a maybe-you-should-have-that-looked-at-face.

Also: I have just discovered that the fingernails on my right index finger and thumb are yellow. Fucking yellow. How gross is that? And no, I don't smoke.

Actually, I suspect the saffrony-garlicy mussels I had last night on my date with Chiara are to blame. They were hard to extract with fork alone so I pinched a couple by their shells for stability purposes. Thus, icky stained fingernails.

Yes, a date, a lovely girl-date with dinner and dulce de leche Haagen Dazs (ohhhhhhh) and a 7:10 showing of Bubba Ho-tep (again with the Bruce Campbell). I'll remember it fondly during my upcoming years of social banishment due to yellow nails/loud knees/interview related nervous breakdowns.

:::


Date: Tue, 11 Nov 2003

From: JB
To:
Subject: RE: Tuesday:

> Also I can not believe you asked your readers about bukake.

From:
To: JB
Subject: RE: Tuesday:

> Did YOU know what it was??

From: JB
To:
Subject: RE: Tuesday:

> Yeah darlin'.

From:
To: JB
Subject: RE: Tuesday:

> How? You don't know what anime is, even.

From: JB
To:
Subject: RE: Tuesday:

> I know what anime is; it's you that has turned into the dorky grandma. Here is my girl: "What does 'dude' mean?" WHA HAPPENED?


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9 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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