09.10.2003 - 5:40 p.m.
Sad and itchy am
My dog has fleas. (Man,
if only I had a ukulele.) She's been kind of extra scratchy lately,
and overly appreciative of the Dangit, but today she went into
a robust butt-chomping campaign that finally compelled me to
search through her fur. And ick, there were FLEAS in there.
I immediately headed out to
the pet clinic we go to, which was closed. Apparently they are
closed Wednesdays. Because that makes a whole hell of a lot of
So I drove to the 24-hour emergency
Shut up, it's not like I burst
into a bustling-with-surgeries-ER and shoved aside pets with
gunshot wounds, it's a regular clinic too.
Admittedly I may have expected
more of a concerned response from the receptionist. "My
dog has fleas!" I announced dramatically as I approached
the counter, thinking she would spring into action and maybe
insist that I bring Dog in for a special doctor-prescribed scratching.
Instead: "You want Frontline
Did you know about these newfangled
flea cure-alls? You just squeeze some liquid onto your pet's
skin between their shoulder blades, and that's it - the fleas
are supposed to die within 18 hours, or something. And not in
a pleasant way, either:
Fipronil, an active ingredient
of FRONTLINE, works by blocking stabilizing ions in the neurons
of invertebrates like fleas. Without the stabilizing ions, the
fleas die from hyperstimulation.
So basically they freak themselves
to death. Weird.
Dog has been dosed, so she'll
be fine soon enough, but in the meantime I feel sorry for her
just itch itch itching away. Poor Dog! I would scratch her, but
when I did that earlier I got a flea mashed underneath my fingernail!
And Lo, It Was Gross.
It's a good thing I picked
up the flea stuff, because Dog is scheduled to spend the weekend
at my coworker's house. It seems like it would be slightly rude
to essentially infect her house with vermin after she has offered
to do us the favor of dogsitting. Didn't fleas spread the Black
Plague? Or was it rats? Or was it rats carrying fleas?
God, now I'm all itchy.
Anyway, we needed someone to
dogsit because JB and I are going to Vegas for the weekend to
attend my good friend Jen's wedding, which is going to be at
the Paris. Married at Paris, isn't that the coolest? That's on
Saturday, so we'll fit in some other fun activities like seeing
"O" on Friday night, and hopefully slurping up drinks
at rumjungle in Mandalay, and will I make JB do the Race For
Atlantis ride in Caesar's, where you wear the 3D goggles and
you feel like you're really moving? You bet your ASS I will!
Because I love that ride even more than the Gravitron!
I'm looking forward to just
being in Las Vegas again. I have the best memories of
that town - each time I've been there I've had an amazingly great
time, even if it was on business. And the year JB and I spent
living in Vegas were some of the most carefree, enjoyable days
of my life. It seems so perfect that I'll get to see my friend
get married there! She planned this just for me!
No? Okay, fine, it's still
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
must obsessively vacuum the house and scratch at invisible bugs
on my skin. If I don't talk to you beforehand, have a great weekend.
Perhaps this slipper
will ease my suffering.
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004