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08.04.2003 - 11:05 a.m.
Monday
I looked at the weather section
of the paper today and sighed with relief. It's blessedly cool
here this morning, and promises to be in the mid-seventies all
week. Last week's heat wave seems to have abated for the time
being, and I'm glad - maybe I can do something with myself in
the evenings besides wilt over a lawn chair.
Also, when did I become this
person? This mid-seventies-is-just-fine-by-me FRUMP?
Maybe I'm just getting older
and more sensitive to the heat. Maybe the longer I live in the
clammy PNW, the more I darwinize myself towards gills and webbed
toes. Maybe the less I feel confident about parading myself around
in sleeveless tops and shorts, the more I long for a brisk cool
breeze.
God knows I feel wearing a
muumuu today, or possibly a small circus tent. I seem to have
spent a large portion of the weekend gnawing on tortilla chips,
toffee chocolate bars, fig newtons, and a particularly sinful
ice cream birthday cake - feeding, larval-like, in a dense PMS
fog, and today marked the appearance of auntie flo/red badge
of courage/crimson tide/your favorite period metaphor here. I
feel e-fucking-normous, like an elephant seal, capable
only of flopping around moaning about breast tenderness.
This body, this sack of meat.
Sometimes I really wish I could unzip it, toss it aside (pathetic,
crumpled and pink), and crawl into a new and improved version.
Something with flames painted along the sides, maybe.
Aaaaanyway, so it was JB's
birthday this weekend, and this is one of the presents I gave
him, in a framed 8x10:
By request from the talented
Mangus,
who did not even blink (not that I could tell over email, but
shut up) when I asked for a drawing of JB as "sort of a
superhero, with guns and an iceaxe and oh yeah scuba tanks".
Didn't he do an awesome job?
(Now I secretly want my own
superhero picture, but uhh�I don't know, can you carry a
book and look tough? Maybe be typing furiously at a computer?
Watch out, Gotham.)
We drove back from JB's family's
cabin last night instead of this morning, which was sort of a
mistake. Traffic, traffic, everyone with canoes and 4-wheelers
and inflatable rafts and screaming children strapped to their
vehicles. RVs, trailers, campers, all heading back from a summer
weekend away from home. It took one holy crap of a long-ass time
to make our way back to Seattle, and we've STILL got 3 CDs left
on From a Buick 8. Not a short book.
I walked in the door last night
and there was a giant spider just standing there in the foyer,
like some appalling welcome wagon from hell. This seemed ominous,
and I quickly scanned the walls and floor, envisioning for a
frightful instant a thick blanket of spiders that had spent the
weekend busily reproducing. Nothing, though, and the spider was
duly squashed by JB and we carried on with unpacking. But! -
later in bed, I glanced at the floor just in time to see another
- GIANTER - spider come sauntering out from the closet. He or
she was squashed as well, although it involved a merry chase
between JB, the spider, and a large bottle of Scope (the only
weapon at hand).
Two big spiders in the same
evening is enough to turn me into a shivering wreck, jerking
my head around frantically trying to spot the next one before
it drops, squirming, into my shirt. It's August, which apparently
is 'spider season' around here (they're mating? something); there's
likely more, shudder shudder, to be found.
So today finds me bloated,
crampy, tiptoeing wild-eyed around my house because I'm afraid
of creepy crawlies. God damn, all I need is to stand teeteringly
on a chair and shriek about mice to complete this particular
feminine stereotype.
Oh well, at least it's not
too hot outside.
go back :::
forward
4
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004
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