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07.16.2003 - 7:49 p.m.

Wednesday

Today at work I encountered a document that, among other things, contained the following sentence: "Distribution Company will submit a statement of credit Funds to the Reseller with credit statement such Funds to the Reseller each quarter." Trying to parse that out was making my brain hurt so I snagged a passing engineer.

"Can you tell me what this sentence means?" I asked. He read carefully. "It appears nonsensical," he replied. "Thank god," I said, "because I was thinking I was either a complete moron or the document was screwy."

"You know," he said solemnly, "those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive states."

ZING! Ouch, Sir Engineer, with your Vulcan-esque logic sword! I bleed!

Also at Workplace there was much scurrying about as a delivery of some sort of perishable plankton arrived. See, we have this enormous saltwater fish tank in our lobby - it's amazingly beautiful, actually - and lately our clownfish have been hatching eggs. And then, sadly, all the little Nemos get either eaten or sucked into the filtration system. So the guys are brainstorming all these preparations to extract the wee fishies right after they're hatched and separate them from the tank so they have a fighting chance at life. The plankton, apparently, is what the clownfish babies eat. It's endearing to see how into it they are (the engineers, although presumably the fish will have a vested interest in the process as well).

:::

Who loves Robyn's cat Tubby so much they bought a t-shirt? I do, I do!

Also, who has the shiniest face in all the land? I do, I do!

:::

I saw two annoying car adornments on my drive home today. One was a bumper sticker that said "I <heart> Thoroughbred Racehorses!". I mean, sure, maybe the driver was a breeder or trainer or something and this was their like perky way of saying so, but in general it just seems like a sentiment so entirely devoid of any meaningful information - wait, that's pretty much the definition of a bumper sticker, right there. (Years ago I had one that said "Kill Your Television" because I was so cool and, you know, not hypocritical AT FUCKING ALL.)

Oh, and the second one was a license plate holder that said "Geminis Do It Twice As Good." To that, I can only say:

(Why does that look all abnormal and Cousin It? It's me from the back, I swear)

:::

Random: best keyboard ever!

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4 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

yay, diaryland