06.08.2003 - 11:55 a.m.
If I were a superhero today,
I would be Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl. Sure, those might
be lame superpowers, but come on - the n' is sassy.
Wolverine: "Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl!
An evil force is at hand, threatening the very world we live
L.B.A.n' P. G.: "Okay, give me a minute. Oh. Waauurgh.
Fuck. Can you help me up? Mmm, sideburns."
The Punisher: "Lower Body Aches n' Pains Girl, I
need your help seeking justice in this crime-filled city."
L.B.A.n' P. G.: "Hey, you're not really a superhero,
Vigilante Boy. But you do fit the bill for this stupid dialogue
that was initially meant to illustrate the depth of my pain but
now has veered into a "Comic book characters Sundry would
totally pork" type fantasy. Mmm, muscle-y."
Fact: "pork" as a
verb never fails to crack me up.
ANYWAY, the reason I'm tottering
around like I've got a broomstick rammed up my ass is because
we hiked Mt. Si yesterday, and apparently my legs
got more of a workout than they've been used to lately. It's
a stiff hike: 3400 ft up, 8 miles round trip. And yesterday?
Was hot as hell. I sweated (choose your colloquialism: "like
a whore in church", or, "like a fat kid at a barn dance")
the whole entire time and deeply questioned our sanity of spending
the afternoon slogging up a great big huge chuck of dirt instead
of lying by a nice cool body of water somewhere. JB had it worse
- he had on his pack, filled with water jugs for training weight.
Going up was hard enough, what
with the sweating and the panting and the hating-the-fucker-who-jogged-by
(it was like 13583 degrees out! Who ARE these people?), but coming
down, especially towards the end, was a real bitch - my knees
and legs were sending angry painful telegrams to my brain: STOP
NOW ARE YOU INSANE STOP.
It was good to get home and
take cold showers and then sit around in the backyard re-hydrating
and then eventually undo all the caloric depletion of the day
by eating bowls of vanilla ice cream.
This morning JB is off diving,
and I'm thinking of heading over to the Bellevue Mall because
I! Need! More! Body Butter! And I can't believe I forgot about
numerous pimp-outs of the stuff, because really, I'm a big fan
of following up on products mentioned in journals I read. I would
never have tried that Special K Red Berries stuff if I hadn't
read about it in Weet's diary. (Random: why do they call it red
berries, when it's strawberries? Why? "Red berries"
sounds vaguely poisonous.) I remember running out and buying
Old Navy yoga pants after a glowing description by TranceJen.
In fact, you should tell me what product that you bought lately
and love, love, love. Yes! Then I can buy it too and we can be
product-buddies! Unless, of course, you bought something lame.
I checked my Yahoo email account
this morning and I had a message with the subject line: "SPAM:
live debt free." Are they just not even trying anymore?
Last week I went to my very
first book club get together, which thankfully was less about
expressing meaningful opinions about the book and more about
girls getting together and chatting and laughing and drinking
and eating like a metric ton of strawberries. There was my friend
and I got to meet Mrs. Roboto (who had the most awesome purse,
like, EVER), and Dishery,
plus some other super cool chicks who all had better hair than
The book was The Botany of Desire, by the way, and it
was really interesting. By the way, when I checked Amazon to
nab that link, these are my Official Recommendations:
Book:A Heartbreaking Work of
Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers.
DVD: Spider-Man (Widescreen Edition).
Music: Heart Shaped World, Chris Isaak.
Tools: Leatherman 80080003 Squirt P4, Storm.
Kitchen: Emsa Perfect Beaker Measuring Beaker with Freshness
Amazon, how you know my desires!
Sort of. Well, two out of five isn't bad. Except I already have
the Eggers book and the Chris Isaak CD. Oh well.
Okay. Off to hobble to the
mall. In lieu of a clever wrap-up to this rambling, unusually
link-heavy entry, please accept some pansies from my backyard.
Hopefully sans dogshit, but no promises.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004