05.14.2003 - 9:16 p.m.
I was in this meeting today
where my coworker Brian was trying, in his delicate way, to say
that some people at Workplace were not quite as...task-oriented
as they could be, and he phrased it something like:
"You've got the people
who are super-brilliant but not reliable, and then you've got
those of us who ARE reliable."
He immediately tried to backtrack,
but it was too late. The rest of us, scenting blood in the water,
"So - what, just because
I show up when I'm supposed to, I'm some kind of moron?"
"Ooh, look at me, I played Quake all day - I'm, like, BRILLIANT!"
"Me reliable. Grunt. Me hunt food for office."
Brian, obviously unable to
remove himself elegantly from a verbal slip, became very animated
and held out one hand, scale-like - "This is SMART"
- and then held out the other, "This is RELIABLE. Er. I
mean. (yanking back both hands) What I MEAN is..."
"Which hand am I, Brian,
the dumbshit hand?"
Heh. It was funny. Anyway,
we were talking about the possibility of bringing a new person
into Workplace, someone who ostensibly would be more skilled
at "managing" people. It seems weird and sad that we're
an office of people who are given the freedom to work whenever
and however we want and coddled with a ridiculous amounts of
benefits to help us be as productive as possible - and we still
suffer from the same politics and personality clashes rampant
in every dysfunctional business. It seems especially lame that
in a group of 20-odd brilliant (and RELIABLE) people, 1) no one
seems able to effectively manage the company, and 2) apparently
we cannot manage ourselves.
In other Workplace-related
news - in preparation for going to the gym, I change into my
workout gear in the women's bathroom at the office (because I
hate me some dressing room changin', I do), and on at least three
separate occasions I have had the intent of putting moisturizer
on my exposed-in-shorts-legs but instead of heading towards the
Jergens pump I experience a brain fart and fill my hand with
a warm plorp of J/A/S/O/N brand liquid soap. Each time I have
managed to wrestle my neurons back into place before smearing
the soap all over my calves, but seriously? Three times now?
I'm obviously a card-carrying member of the reliable group.
I've been pretty lame on the
workout front recently. And I really need to step it up, since
I've packed on some cruise-pork. Forty drinks a day and yes of
course the tiramisu will do that to a girl.
Also? Because I cannot stop
with the pictures? It was so beautiful and sunny and just marvelous
the last couple days, and JB helped me plant herbs and flowers
and vegetables and look - is Dog not completely grinning
here, or what?
I am not even lying when I
tell you Dog's Frisbee is from Old Navy.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004