03.17.2003 - 10:46 p.m.
Today several of us at work
watched the president's speech. We each made our way down the
stairs to the area where the television is, and nobody was talking
or joking around, we were just walking quietly. Someone wrestled
with the TV for a little bit, and suddenly there it was, a few
minutes into the broadcast, and everyone was silent.
I sat on the floor with my
feet tucked underneath me and I watched our president talk to
us about going to war. I thought about how it has seemed for
so long now as if some great hulking piece of machinery had been
set into motion. How it had somehow gained a terrible momentum,
like something tumbling down a hill, gathering speed, unable
to be stopped.
We watched, and it felt like
I was filing the moment away carefully. I would remember my coworkers
and the hardness of the floor and the tiny reading movements
of his eyes as he tracked the TelePrompter and the footage of
soldiers watching the same broadcast and wondering dumbly at
how young they looked.
I listened and I didn't feel
anger or disgust or agreement or patriotism, I only felt something
like sorrow and something like fear.
I walked back to my desk afterwards
and sat down. Someone came by and said, do you feel reassured
now? He was sarcastic, upset. He's evil, you know.
I felt like a question hung in the air: who? Even though I knew
I didn't know what to say,
so I said nothing.
I drove to the gym after work.
I was playing a Johnny Cash song, "The Man Comes Around."
When I neared my turnoff, I came up on a group of what I thought
were protestors, holding up signs at people driving by. As I
passed them, I saw their signs all said Support Our Troops.
I waved, and a man waved back
At the same time, the music
Hear the trumpets, hear
One hundred million angels singing
Multitudes are marching to the big kettle drum
Voices callin, voices cryin
Some are born and some are dyin
It's Alpha and Omega's kingdom come
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004