01.15.2003 - 7:10 p.m.
Wednesday
Oh my GOD. This? So, so funny. Excerpt from Legolas's
diary:
Day Six:
Far too dark
in Mines of Moria to brush hair properly. Am very afraid I am
developing a tangle.
Orcs so
silly.
Still the prettiest.
BWAH!
And there's this from Sauron:
Day Three
Million Seven:
I spy with
my big-huge-nasty-flaming eye...something resembling a novelty
dashboard ornament. Witch King of Angmar tells me it's a hobbit.
Is rather cute. On the smallish side, but I'm hardly one to talk
appearances these days.
HAR!
Yes, still ridiculously besotted
enough to comb the web looking at LOTR stuff. It's sick and wrong.
And incredibly geeky. What is happening to meeeeee?
Speaking of geeky (brilliant
segue, no?), when we were in San Francisco for the tradeshow
last week we got a tour of Pixar. They have a pretty incredible
office space, with giant wood floors that employees glide across
on skateboards. A neat experience, except for the part where
the guy doing the tour launched into some complex technical animation
stuff which slowly became unrecognizable as English and was replaced
by a faraway roaring sound, like something coming from a seashell.
I contemplated crumpling to the floor and faking a seizure, but
settled for displaying a charmingly moronic, slack-jawed expression.
I consider myself a person
of reasonable intellect - I can operate a vehicle, for instance,
and I can tie my own shoes. But the techie stuff literally strips
the neurons from my brain and leaves me with only a vague command
over my motor skills.
We used to have these weekly
staff meetings at Workplace that would last 2 hours or more,
while engineers wrangled over various coding issues. Both myself
and Molly would slump into comas, and blearily stagger from the
room afterwards with arms outstretched like zombies. Luckily,
they changed the format to address business issues first, then
the technical stuff - at which point I launch from the room like
rabid weasels have clamped onto my ass.
Basically, it boils down to
this: I don't know how things work, and I am unable to understand
if you try and explain. Sure, that might make me look stupid
when I have to ask a Workplace propellerhead for the fiftieth
time how I access that one drive ("Um, do what? What
is this thing you call 'log in'?"), but on the bright
side, I am CONSTANTLY AMAZED. Planes? Giant hunks of metal that
can FLY? Wow! The talking automatic checkout thingie at my grocery
store? COOL! Electricity? Dude, that stuff rules!!!
I know, it's pathetic. I feel
like a Malibu
Stacy doll: "Thinking too much gives you wrinkles."
:::
JB's taking off for Asia again
this weekend, and he'll be gone for TWO WEEKS. Gah! Two weeks
of frisbee-throwing, every single day! I wish during the wet
dreary winter months Dog could find a nice frisbee alternative,
such as cross stitching.
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I have moved. - 1.03.2005 Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004 Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004 Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004 Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004
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