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11.24.2002 - 5:18 p.m.

Sunday

Bangs! Sort of! Also a rumpled unmade bed!

What a spectacularly uneventful weekend it's been. Thursday night I had a spat with JB where I told him he had acted obnoxiously the last time he had attended a post-Workplace Friday night outing. (Well, he HAD. He continually pestered my coworker Brian about his new girlfriend, demanding to know if Brian had "sealed the deal" or not. I think he was channeling his Inner Frat Guy.) Therefore JB got all snotty and said fine, if that's the way I felt, I could just go out by myself this Friday. And then Workplace plans didn't pan out, so while JB was hoisting beers all night with his work friends, I was planted in front of the TV all by my lonesome. So that was Friday.

Saturday I cleaned the house and went shopping at Half Price Books. That…was it, basically. Oh yeah, and we rented Insomnia. My god, have you ever really noticed how enormously weird Robin Williams's nose is?

Today I - wait, I can't go on. This is too boring even for MY journal. Shit. Let's say that this happened, instead:

Fed up with the November gloom, we decide to take our private jet to Cozumel for the weekend. We load up with a case of LeGrande Dame and take turns coming up with silly toasts while a trio of exquisitely dressed trapeze artists perform a silent, complicated routine for us during the flight. Once we arrive, I head to Muchas Skintastica!, the world-famous spa, for a sea salt body scrub followed by a full body massage and just a *hint* of Botox. Refreshed, I meet JB at our favorite pan-asian-caribbean-aborigine restaurant and we dine on peacock tongues submerged in a mango/licorice bath. We stroll the beach after dinner and gasp in surprise - the luxury hotel we are staying at has arranged for several hundred phosphorescent jellyfish to spell out our names in the shallow water.

We're leaving tomorrow and heading south, to visit friends in Eugene and then spend Thanksgiving in Coos Bay with JB's family. Later alligator, after while crocodile, have a wonderful l-tryptophane-loaded holiday.

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0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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