So the Aimee Mann show I saw
last night? So. fucking. great. She rocks. Rocks. And
she's funny and sarcastic and whip-smart, just like you'd think
she would be.
We sat up in the balcony of
theatre, which had a pretty good view. Except for the guy in
front of me with the giant melon head ("I'm crazy
giant melon head man! Give me candy, because I'm crazy!").
Not only was his head ginormous, but he embarked upon a vigorous
side-to-side swaying routine that lasted throughout the entire
People, you don't sway side
to side when you're in close quarters, especially if you have
a dirigible for a head! You employ the Modified Head Bang (or
the Modified Blow Job, if you prefer a little naughtiness in
your journal-perusal today), nodding forward and back so as to
not completely obliterate the view of the person behind you.
Scrunching uncomfortably way
over to the side addressed the intrusive head-blockage, although
I still longed for a small, easily hidden cattle prod. I also
sort of wished I'd brought opera glasses (not that I own any,
or even know what distinguishes them from binoculars) so I could
see as well as JB, who has X-ray vision.
Well, not really. But he does
have superior vision, it's 20/whateverthehellisbetterthan20.
It's because when the two of us had lasik surgery about 3 years
ago, he went back for a touch-up where they calibrate your eyeball
settings to "Bald Eagle" or something. Now he can see
actual molecules in the air and stuff.
(Veering back to Aimee Mann
with a comical "err-rrr-rr!" sound accompanied by an
out-of-control steering wheel motion...)
We decided to spelunk the depths
of the Moore in order to gulp overpriced beverages during the
opening act. While we stood around the murky smoke-filled bar
area, I idly jiggled the loose stair banister nearby. Suddenly
a beefy guy wearing a white security uniform materialized next
to us, his face filled with concern. He grasped the banister
and yanked it back and forth worriedly. Moments later he brought
what appeared to be an events promoter - some overly wired guy
with pointy sideburns wearing a beanie (so hip!) - to
peer at the banister. This was obviously becoming a Major Issue.
The events guy rushed off to either get a pair of pliers or to
desperately snort another line of coke in the men's room, and
then there was this random small crowd of people all tugging
on the banister and shaking their heads.
Why a loose banister should
be such a big safety concern among myriad burnt-out exit signs,
puddles of beer, and cracked toilet seats (ow), I can't
When the show was over - after
*2 encores*, yay - it was around 11:30 PM, which made it the
latest I've stayed up in...I don't know HOW long.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004