10.12.2002 - 8:06 a.m.
Saturday morning, and JB's
left for Asia again. I'm beginning to feel like a military wife,
smiling bravely and telling the children to "say bye-bye
to Daddy!". And then spending the time alone on such admirable
pursuits as knitting, maybe.
Riiight. That's me in a nutshell,
except without the kids and substituting knitting for drinking-beer-while-watching-Real-World-marathons.
Speaking of beer, if you're
of age, run don't walk to your neighborhood grocery store and
troll the beer aisle until you find Pumpkin Beer. It's beer
it's pumpkin pie - AT THE SAME TIME. This may be just
a Northwest thing, and if so, you should probably move out here.
It's that good.
Dog chased Cat up a tree yesterday.
It's weird, they exist in this symbiotic state of peace in the
house, but the instant one sees the other outside, all bets are
off. It's pure Dog-vs-Cat, in classic cartoon fashion.
I felt so bad for Cat. She
was way the hell up this giant tree in our front yard, with an
inflated tail the size of the Titanic. I wondered how she was
going to get down, and briefly entertained thoughts of burly
firemen, neighborhood shame, but she astounded us by leaping
down at angles between the branches like a monkey. She then shot
across the street to what we call the Cat Bar & Grill, a
clump of bushes that offers respite for the dignity-bruised.
You know, our pets do have
actual names, but we mostly call them by our own strange monikers.
For instance, Dog is known as:
D.O.G. This came about because we jokingly
spelled out the word 'dog' around the cat when we first got her.
Yes, that's quite stupid. For some reason, it stuck. A variation
on the D.O.G. theme is to sing out, in tune with the G.I. Joe
theme song, "D.O.G! Great American hero! D.O.G was theeerrre!"
Hint Of Slug. This one is even harder to explain,
but basically we were goofing around, trying to come up with
the exact composition of Dog nose. One part rubber, one part
slime, etc. JB decided that she had 'just a hint of slug',
which sounds so weirdly snobby-restaurant-critic it completely
cracked me up. So now, we occasionally say stuff like "Hint
Of Slug! Come here, Hint Of Slug! Goooood Hint Of Slug!".
C.A.T. It's just a natural extension of D.O.G,
Cacoon. This is pronounced like racoon. It
used to be Catcoon, but morphed over time. Where this name came
from, nobody knows. And for some reason, it's required to include
the word "The" with Cacoon. As in, "Did the Cacoon
get breakfast, because man, she is bitching up a storm."
Cattio. When referring to Cat as Cattio, it
must be sung with a very bad rhyme. IE, "Cattio, cattio,
she's such a fattio, lying there on the mattio, oh Cattioooo!"
So you should visit Weetabix and vote for MY BANNER! Well. Except
it's not all that great. And actually, that Shaft banner is pretty
cool. So maybe you should vote for that banner.
To my credit, I spent waaaay
too much time trying to make Weet's little Tinkerbell fly around
the banner, which ended up just looking really stupid, so I finally
abandoned that theme and spent about 5 minutes on the graphic
I ended up sending in.
(Uh, I'm actually not sure
how that IS to my credit, but there you go.)
Now if you'll excuse me, I
have some knitting to attend to.
go back :::
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004