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09.10.2002 - 8:07 p.m.
Tuesday
Oh, with the guestbook-signing
and all! That was so great - thank you. Sorry if I ticked off
any imood fans. Maybe you can go set your little icon face to
‘offended’. (Heeeeeeeee.) Seriously, though, you should
know that I never think I’m cooler than anyone else,
except maybe the dark-haired host of American Idol, because let’s
face it, that dude is a major fucking dork.
Random: we have a bunch of
those refrigerator word magnets at Workplace, and I just arranged
the words “frantic for sausage”, which cracks me up
each time I root out a Diet Coke. Yes, I am retarded.
Actually, there is recent evidence
that indicates I may in face be ‘differently abled’.
Unlike my friend Peachy,
who has the audacity to be incredibly witty, freakishly smart,
AND slim/stylish/pretty, I often seem to have the brains (and
possibly the appearance) of a dung beetle.
So Monday night. I was playing
a fun game called The Neverhood, and to reinforce the theme
of my stupidity, I had just surfed the web for game hints because
I was stuck and couldn’t figure out how to get past this
fucking room with the different colored crystal dealies and the
big power surge that goes bleepbleepBAZHOOOOOM. After blatantly
cheating for a while, I decided I wanted a hot chocolate. Pad
pad pad to kitchen, fill mug with water, shove in microwave,
whap door shut, plug in 4 minutes, go back to game.
You know the hideous, horrible
smell of Shrinky-dinks? Or, have you ever burned your hair? An
aroma that was some combo of those greeted me when I came back
to the kitchen. Acrid smoke billowed from the microwave. I yanked
open the door to see my mug in flames, and itsy black particles
instantly coated every surface within several hundred feet.
Oh, the mug? Was plastic, with
a metal outer casing. Why, why, WHY did I decide that was microwave
safe and would surely not catch on FIRE and stink up the entire
town of Bellevue, Washington? Dung beetle.
The microwave was completely
hosed. It was so encrusted with the stench of pure evil that
JB and I threw it away. I guess we’ll have to visit the
Cletus-land side of Sears this week.
:::
I signed up for a massage tomorrow.
Yeah. I'll let you know how that goes.
go back :::
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0
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004
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