05.19.2002 - 9:28 a.m.
The thing about writing
a new diary entry after several days of not doing so, is that
it really seems as if you should have many exciting experiences
to recap and profound little nuggets of wisdom to disperse.
Um. I saw "Spiderman".
This weekend was designated
as The Weekend Of Packing, but we didn't get boxes until late
yesterday afternoon. And by that time, the weather had cleared
up and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful outside, it was literally
a crime against nature to spend time in the stuffy apartment
packing. So we drove out to Shilshole beach with our handy Grill2Go
and sat out in the sun eating hotdogs, drinking beer, and watching
children flying kites.
So today is now the Sunday
Of Packing. Of course JB isn't around, he's off doing a dive
trip this morning. I think I got suckered somehow.
It's really weird to think
this is the last weekend we will spend in this apartment. It
hardly seems real. What DOES seem real, however, are the forty
different construction machines right outside that have been
tearing up the road the last week. All weekend long, too. Feel
like sleeping in past 8? Forget it. Want to enjoy one fucking
moment of peace? So sorry, how about a nice insanely loud
pounding-and-scraping sound instead.
We've been spending the
weekend saying "one.more.week" through gritted teeth
- whether from the construction hell, or from huffing up 5 flights
of stairs carrying the stuff we took to the beach, or from the
cat whining at the balcony door to go outside.
O Cat, soon you will be
free to run outside! To chase birds! To prowl in the garden!
To take big stinking craps that I don't have to scoop!
I never let her out on
the balcony if I'm not out there, because one of the first weeks
I moved in here I did. Thought she would be just fine. Then I
peered out and didn't see her. My heart in my throat, I looked
around the corner - and there she was, balanced on the top of
the railing. It's like 1.5" wide. And it's 5 flights down
to the concrete sidewalk. She hears me and turns around to
face me, meowing hello. I mean, I know cats have good balance,
but this is a lardacious cat who does an extremely ungainly scramble
to get up on the windowsill, which is like a foot wide. Anyway,
I basically snatched her up and held her way too hard and got
a little teary and I've been way paranoid about that sort of
thing ever happening again.
And speaking of the cat
(for a change. *cough*), the other day we were joking around
and JB did this doodle:
Me: Omigod. That is the
worst drawing I've ever seen. Is she running?
JB: No, it's just - see, she's laying down.
Me: Wha? So what is with the feet?
JB: Those are paws.
Me: It's like a hot dog or something. With big gay feet.
JB: She stretches out when she's lying down. Duh.
Me: Ok. What. Is. With. The. Head?
JB: That's the only way I can draw heads.
Me: Like a…shark?
JB: What do you mean, shark. It's clearly the cat.
Me: Riiiight. And the WEIRD BUTTHOLE?
JB: It's a butthole. What more can I say?
And here's mine:
JB: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! You can't draw feet either!
Me: At least I didn't give her clown feet.
JB: I'll admit you captured the fat a little better.
Me: Yeah, Hot Dog Boy.
JB: Nice ears, though. Her ears are totally not that small.
Me: I'll take the hit. See, I'm all gracious and stuff.
JB: And the neck? Is that a goiter or something?
Me: She happens to have a chubby neck.
JB: Whatever, Picasso. Also you forgot the butthole.
Me: You and the butthole.
The actual cat:
I mean, clearly I drew
the superior cat doodle.
Uh, go me.
All right. Back to the
packing and the tape-gunning and the glasses-wrapping and the
black-fingers-getting from the newspaper-inking. Hope you all
had a great weekend.
Even you "bankgok
blow job bars" google freaks.
go back :::
05.14.2002 - Do
cats like peas? The answer is no.
05.13.2002 - (ending
05.08.2002 - Except
for all the HOT WET TEEN ASIAN PORN action, that is.
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004