05.14.2002 - 2:37 p.m.
I've spent the day at home,
today. Some stomach bogosity thing hit me this morning so I called
in sick to work. Because the most important thing here
is that I feel fine and dandy this evening because JB and I are
seeing a live performance from The Kids in the Hall. I've been
looking forward to it for weeks and no wussy-ass stomach
bug is going to get in MY way. Step BACK, germy muthafucka.
I spent the morning reading,
which was a nice luxury. Finally finished off Black House*
and started rereading Dave Egger's Heartbreaking Work of Staggering
So I've learned that hanging
out at home during the day is nice relaxing change when you have
a job, and a boring and increasingly desolate activity when you
do not have a job.
Yesterday at work all the
engineers were back. Once again there was activity in the building,
and snatches of dorky conversation about video games.
Molly, who is the office
manager and my office-mate, was like "Well, the guys are
back. I can tell, because my candy bowl is completely empty."
They had ganked her tootsie rolls over the weekend. MEN.
Most of the guys come to
the office in the afternoon, then stay until wee hours. At first,
I was all impressed and thinking how amazing it was that they
worked so hard. But what I'm learning is that the line between
"work" and "home" is severely blurred for
most of them. After all, "work" has chefs, a full bar,
a big screen TV that records all the shows you want, DVDs, another
big screen just for video games, air hockey, etc. "Home"
might be a futon in a studio apartment, for all I know.
I'm really enjoying this
job. I get the opportunity to do things that only a VP would
do in a bigger company, and there's no layers of management to
contend with. Plus, the free food thing is really fucking cool.
So spending time at home
today has allowed me to reminisce a bit about my months spent
unemployed, and appreciate anew my current job. Because I had
forgotten how it was to spend quality time with my sumo cat.
For instance, I got out
a can of peas earlier (the heart wants what it wants, ok?). I
tried to open the drawer that held the can opener quietly, but
the cat picked up my thought patterns and rushed over immediately.
She stood there. Focused.
I opened the can, which
launched her into a caterwauling that spiraled into a howl. I
booted her gently and informed her that cats do not in fact like
She argued vehemently that
peas are a vital part of any cat's dietary regimen and strongly
suggested that I serve her the peas fucking straightaway.
I chided her for her misguided
beliefs and pointed out that her behavior was simply driven by
tuna cans that had been opened in her presence in the past. I
also brought up the fact that because of the absence of tuna
odors her caterwauling clearly indicated that she was quite stupid.
It seemed she disagreed
with my points and instead was convinced that it was unimportant
what, exactly, was IN the can, the fact remained that she obviously
deserved the contents, whatever they may be.
She then received several
bootings, on the way to the kitchen table. She also received
a series of verbal reminders that she was incredibly freaking
Eventually, she was given
Do cats like peas? The
answer is no. Do cats make the intellectual leap to associate
what you are eating out of a can is the same fucking thing
as the pallid green object before them? No, they do not.
* I was really hoping
for more time spent in The Territories, personally. And I didn't
like the biker gang - too cheesy. And another thing - I'm a big
fan of the Dark Tower books, and Black House seemed to shed more
insight into the Tower mythology than the Tower books themselves
what, a reader is supposed to know they need to,
like, cross reference with Black House to get the full picture?
I mean, here's the deal, Steve-O: get crackin' on the next Tower
book. Fucking pronto. Quit screwing around with these teasers.
And make sure you feature Oy, the billy bumbler. Or else.
05.13.2002 - (ending
05.08.2002 - Except
for all the HOT WET TEEN ASIAN PORN action, that is.
05.06.2002 - It
was like this: "Ba-RUP! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pupupupupupupupupfffuufffffffff".